I’ve been in a relationship for 3.75 years and let me tell you, a lot happens in 3.75 years. It hasn’t all been a walk in the park. We’ve had highs and lows. We live in a sinful world and are all sinners (Rm 3:23.) Therefore, not everything is going to turn out how we expect or want it to. And while this does bring hurt, trial, and pain, it does not mean my relationship isn’t a Godly or strong one.
A little while ago, my boyfriend and I were talking about some of the struggles we’ve been through. My boyfriend, Joel, made a comment to the effect of “that makes us look weak” in reference to something we’re still going through (which is another post in itself.) I was shocked because I’d seen how it had strengthened our faith and our relationship. I realized, that actually, seeing struggle as weakness, can create issues.
By not allowing yourself or even your relationship to have the conflict because it would “weaken” your relationship, you don’t allow for growth. As Romans 5:3-4 says “...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Basically, Paul is saying that growth in faith can happen through issues. Here are three things that do not make your relationship weak.
1. Thinking About Breaking Up
I met and started dating Joel in high school before either of us knew what we wanted to do with our lives. Between the start of college and after the end of high school, I considered whether or not I should break up with him. A lot of people told me I shouldn’t start college tied down to a boy. Ultimately, I decided not to because I wanted to be with Joel.
I truly believe that at multiple points in your relationship, you have to decide whether or not to continue it. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is weak or that you are wavering in love. God calls us to do this in our relationship with Him, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith...” (2 Cor. 13:5) and “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 Jn 1:9) Both of these verses tell us to
I met and started dating Joel in high school before either of us knew what we wanted to do with our lives. Between the start of college and after the end of high school, I considered whether or not I should break up with him. A lot of people told me I shouldn’t start college tied down to a boy. Ultimately, I decided not to because I wanted to be with Joel.
I truly believe that at multiple points in your relationship, you have to decide whether or not to continue it. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is weak or that you are wavering in love. God calls us to do this in our relationship with Him, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith...” (2 Cor. 13:5) and “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 Jn 1:9) Both of these verses tell us to be honest and examine our relationship with Jesus. We need to be honest with Him about our struggles.
Struggling with Lust
This really could be a whole other article in itself (and I promise I will write more about this.) But struggling with Lust does not mean your relationship is doomed. If you struggle with Lust, you are not alone. I struggle with lust. I want to be clear, lust does not come from God. However, in marriage, sexuality does. God made us to be sexual in marriage. However, because of the fall, we no longer trust in God’s plan and purposes.
My struggle has caused me to (as in point one) examine and confess to God more often. And sometimes I feel like my fight against lust is a losing battle. I need to trust He has the
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I’ve been in a relationship for 3.75 years and let me tell you, a lot happens in 3.75 years. It hasn’t all been a walk in the park. We’ve had highs and lows. We live in a sinful world and are all sinners (Rm 3:23.) Therefore, not everything is going to turn out how we expect or want it to. And while this does bring hurt, trials, and pain, it does not mean my relationship isn’t a Godly or strong one.
A little while ago, my boyfriend and I were talking about some of the struggles we’ve been through. My boyfriend, Joel, made a comment to the effect of “that makes us look weak” in reference to something we’re still going through (which is another post in itself.) I was shocked because I’d seen how it had strengthened our faith and our relationship. I realized that, actually, seeing struggles as weakness can create issues.
By not allowing yourself or even your relationship to have a conflict because it would “weaken” your relationship, you don’t allow for growth. As Romans 5:3-4 says “...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Basically, Paul is saying that growth in faith can happen through issues. Here are three things that do not make your relationship weak.
Thinking About Breaking Up
This really could be a whole other article in itself (and I promise I will write more about this) but struggling with lust does not mean your relationship is doomed. If you struggle with lust, you are not alone. I struggle with lust. I want to be clear, lust does not come from God. However, in marriage, sexuality does. God made us to be sexual in marriage. However, because of the fall, we no longer trust in God’s plan and purposes.
My struggle has caused me to (as previously stated) examine and confess to God more often. And sometimes I feel like my fight against lust is a losing battle. I need to trust He has the victory over sin. Through this conflict, I have leaned on God more. This has caused my boyfriend and I to pray together more. It has actually made us stronger in faith together. Problems with lust need to be addressed; they do not need to break a bond.
Parental Problems
My parents do not like my boyfriend. This is not because of who he is or because I am in a bad relationship. It is because of our faith. My parents do not like the fact that I am a Christian. And because Joel introduced me to the Gospel, they blame him. Nothing has hurt me more than this. My own parents don’t know the love of Christ. It is hard. We do not have the support of my parents in any way, shape, or form.
But it does not make my title of Joel’s girlfriend weak. I know that my parents care for me and want what is best for me, as most parents do. Because of that listen closely and take into account why your parents have a problem with your relationship, but know that their approval is not everything. And it is not a gauge for the strength of your relationship.