Sugarmoon - Spring Edition 2019 Sugarmoon - Spring 2019 | Page 24
KITCHEN TABLE
Longing For
A KITCHEN TABLE
BY: ALEXANDRA KUYKENDALL
AS I’VE been preparing to speak at a
conference in a few weeks on blogging as
a platform, I’ve been thinking much about
the idea of the kitchen table.
The kitchen table used to be a place
to invite your neighbors in to have a
conversation. To make a cup of coffee or
tea and catch up on life. I don’t experience
that kind of community in my kitchen
too regularly. Often I chat with neighbors
in the front yard or over the back fence
(which has a nice nostalgic ring to it as
well.) But actually inviting people inside,
well that tends to be reserved for when
“company is coming.” When I run around
the house the two hours before guests
arrive cleaning the toilets and stuffing the
toys into bins. When cleaning supplies that
don’t make it out from beneath the kitchen
sink, make a jailbreak to do their magic.
The truth is I don’t even have a kitchen
table. I have lots of places for people to
sit, the bar with stools all lined up where I
serve my children like a short-order cook,
our main table that would be in the dining
room if we had walls, but we live in one
big open concept space, and an island
in my kitchen on coasters that is used
sometimes for homework, but mostly for
collecting junk mail.
But more than an actual table, I need
a space for someone to be with me. To
spend time, whether talking matters of the
heart or just talking about the weather.
Relationships are built in part by an
immediate deep connection, but often by
the everydayness of what are you doing
this afternoon?
So, my kitchen table these days looks like
my computer with online relationships,
my phone with calls while I drive my kids
around town or texts late at night, the
playground at school where I can see the
same parents with sometimes big news,
but sometimes what are you making for
dinner? kind of conversation. My MOPS
group meets weekly as a structured
table of sorts, but I long for more of the
spontaneous in my over-scheduled life.
I guess I long for the space in my schedule,
more than the physical space, to invite
people into my life a little bit at a time.
I’m curious: do you have a physical kitchen
table? Do you use it for stacking junk mail
like me or eating or coloring? Where do
you connect with your actual neighbors?
And your community neighbors? And
what matters most to you, the rare,
deep connections or the more mundane
togetherness?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A trusted voice for Christian women, Alexandra Kuykendall speaks around
the world about issues of parenting, faith and identity. She is the cohost of
The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast and has authored Loving My Actual Life,
Loving My Actual Christmas, and The Artist’s Daughter: A Memoir. Alex lives
in the shadows of downtown Denver with her husband Derek and their four
daughters who range in age from 15 to six. You can connect with her at
AlexandraKuykendall.com
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