“ There’ s No Thanks In This Business” Finn Wagstaff 10 / 26 / 12
“ There’ s No Thanks In This Business” Finn Wagstaff 10 / 26 / 12
Countless times through her life people had called her May-‐-‐-‐ gen, Margin, and on one occasion, Maggot. But this time was the last straw. Megan wanted to make it clear to one of her buyers that the ivory that she was dealing was the best of the best, that you couldn’ t Kind it better anywhere this side of the Atlantic Ocean. When her customer responded with an“ okay, Mehgine” she lost it. There was just no dignity in the ivory business. Sobbing in her Prius, Megan turned the radio to her favorite AM radio station and drove home listening to the soothing tones of Ira Glass investigating the public school system. When she got home, Megan slowly sat down on her couch and thought. She thought about what it would be like not running from the authorities every second of the day. And then, Megan had an idea.
Across town, the local police were hard at work. The mysterious woman who had been dealing ivory out of their beloved town was only a few steps in front of them. For months they planted spies, grilled witnesses, and attacked the story from every angle but
still came up dry. But on that Thursday, which would be later referred to as Thursday, a giant vault of precious information came to light. A hooded man walked into the station and sat down.
“ Um, sir can I help you?” asked Kørtney, the police station’ s Norwegian intern, who was a subject of much ogling and unwanted attention by most of the male ofKicers.“ This is a private sector of the police station and-‐-‐-‐” The hooded man cut her off, proceeding to speak in the lowest voice Kørtney had ever heard
“ 845 Linwood Drive, that where she’ ll be.” Kørtney had no idea about what he was referring to but she made herself a note and tried to remember to give it to Lt. Knobwood, the least creepy of the ofKicers.
“ Now would be a great time to have a friend,” Megan sighed as she packed up her apartment. It wasn ' t that she didn’ t have friends, she chatted online for about two hours a night. But she didn’ t have a Thelma and Louise type of relationship that she always dreamed of. Imagining herself and a new friend that she would name Tristen because that“ is the prettiest name in the world.” Megan would have a friend to talk through this emotional moment. But, since she didn’ t, Megan just bottled up her emotions just like the Web Therapist told