Student 24/7 Apr 2014 | Page 28

GUYS TALK Can I sleep with you first? Ratanang Mogatusi Men and women love to date. It is one of the traits that classify us as social beings. We pair up with others and cultivate bonds that are mutually beneficial, though this may not always be easy to accomplish. Starting a successful relationship can take time, especially if it starts as an awkward one. Interested parties may find it difficult to get from the point of recognising their interest in each other; to a point where they are not only comfortable with each other but also trust one another. In the early stages of a relationship, people tend to abstain from sex, in an attempt to build a deeper, more meaningful relationship; as opposed to one founded on sexual chemistry. This doesn’t always work out well, as they may soon find themselves stuck in a relationship, or even marriage, with someone whose sexual chemistry does not match up with their own. This can often spell disaster for the couple. Can you imagine how different the outcome would have been, had they had sex with each other, before getting to know each other? Hypothetically speaking, in a world where men and women have sex as soon as they are aware of the mutual attraction between them, getting to know each other and determining whether or not the relationship is worth exploring, further would be a simpler task. Whether it be a kiss or having sex, the thought of doing either for the first time at the end of a date, can be the looming elephant in the room. Wondering if someone finds their date genuinely enjoyable and progressively more appealing as the moment of truth approaches can be a very scary thing to live through. It can be troubling and even nerve wrecking, if you are truly invested in growing a passionate roaring fire from the sparks between the two of you. This would not be the case between people who have already had sexual intercourse. 28 - Student 24/7 Once two people have sex, the sexual tension between them is altered. The fact that you have bared yourselves to each other both openly and intimately in the physical sense, makes it easier to open up to the other party, emotionally. Once the sexual tension is broken, the pair can determine whether or not they are compatible with each other in bed; so as to be able to determine if their relationship will grow, or not. In most instances, if this formula is followed, a lot of time and heartbreak can be avoided. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and one cannot freely engage in sex on every first date without having to worry about pregnancy, STD’s/STI’s and heartbreak. In this life, one has to carefully choose your partners, build trust, and most importantly, always practice safe sex.