Error : All sexual behavior between children is dangerous and harmful .
Some childish behaviors are predicated upon natural sexual curiosity . In the course of normal human development , children commonly engage in harmless sexual curiosity or play . This behavior , thought innocent , should always be redirected .
What constitutes harmful sexual behavior between children ? Any adult sexual behavior that children should have no knowledge of or experience with should be reported to child protective services . This is because these behaviors are typically learned behaviors resulting from interaction between an adult ( or older child ) and a child , and the abused child is replicating these learned behaviors with other children . The purpose of a report is to get appropriate resources to the children impacted , redirect the harmful behavior and determine where the sexual conduct began : generally at the hands of an adult who has abused a child . Clearly , any coerced or forced sexual behavior is harmful . In most jurisdictions , criminal prosecution of peer sexual abuse requires three elements : an aggressor , a non-aggressor and an imbalance of power favoring the aggressor . The imbalance of power is typically age , but size , mental acuity or the existence of a disability can create the imbalance . In most states in the US , a three-year age gap between children creates a presumption of an imbalance of power . One indication that sexual behavior between children is something other than simple curiosity or play is when the behavior is hidden or accompanied by a sense of shame or culpability . When a child is hiding behavior or enticing another child into a closet or other unseen area , the conduct is problematic .
Peer Sexual Abuse : Sexually harmful behavior between children involving an aggressor and a child who does not seek or want the sexual interaction .
What ’ s more , peer abusers tend to take opportunities where they find them ; where they spend time anyway — school , sports , camp , younger cousins or siblings , and church . Children who have been sexually abused tend to act out in a sexual manner with other children . Even very young children can act out in a sexually harmful context . So how should a ministry act to reasonably address this known risk ? Ministry staff members must be trained to understand and recognize scenarios where this risk is higher : anywhere clothes come off , for any reason ( e . g . the restroom ), any location on your church campus which is less easily seen ( e . g . play structures ) and any activity less easily supervised ( e . g . any activity involving swimming or group play ). Effective training must define peer sexual abuse , address where it is more likely to occur and how to correctly respond .
Responding to an allegation Responding correctly to peer sexual abuse allegations requires an exercise of judgment , and ministry leaders must avoid two common misconceptions . Error : No sexual behavior between children is harmful — simply indicative of curiosity or play .
Peer sexual abuse must be reported Although peer sexual abuse constitutes one third of all reported sexual abuse in the US , peer abuse tends to be underreported . One reason it isn ’ t reported is the belief that mandatory reporting requirements do not apply to children who sexually abuse other children . Untrue : mandatory reporting requirements are driven by the age of the victim , not the age of the abuser .
Peer sexual abuse fire drill Peer abusers are opportunistic — they take opportunities where they find them and where they spend time anyway , including church programs . While on church property or participating in church programs , children must be safe and protected — sometimes from other children . Church staff members are responsible for the safety and welfare of each child participating until that child is returned to a parent or caregiver . Like fire , peer sexual abuse is a foreseeable risk . Where this risk is concerned , a church ’ s primary protection is effective training coupled with intentional supervision .
Many ministry workers believe that peer sexual abuse won ’ t happen in their church or ministry . This illusion is dangerous to both the ministry and the children it serves . Because peer abusers are opportunistic , greater opportunity exists in church programs staffed by workers who don ’ t understand or acknowledge the reality of this risk . The first step to a better understanding of this risk is effective training : when staff members learn the facts , they are better equipped to protect children in their care .
Kimberlee Norris & Gregory Love are partners in the Fort Worth , Texas law firm of Love & Norris [ www . lovenorris . com ] and founders of MinistrySafe , providing child sexual abuse expertise to ministries worldwide . After representing victims of child sexual abuse for more than two decades , Love and Norris saw recurring , predictable patterns in predatory behavior . MinistrySafe grew out of their desire to place proactive tools into the hands of ministry professionals . Love and Norris teach the only graduate-level course on Preventing Sexual Abuse in Ministry as Visiting Faculty at Dallas Theological Seminary . churchexecutive . com STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE • CHURCH EXECUTIVE 35