SIGNS OUTSIDE
CHURCHES
"People are like tea bags - you have
to put them in hot water before you
know how strong they are."
"No God-No Peace. Know God-
Know Peace." "God so loved the world that He did
not send a committee."
"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" "Come in and pray today. Beat the
Christmas rush!"
"Try our Sundays. They are better
than Haagen-Dazs."
"Searching for a new look? Have
your faith lifted here!"
When the restaurant next to the
Lutheran Church put out a big sign
with red letters that said, "Open
Sundays," the church reciprocated
with its own message: "We are open
on Sundays, too."
"When down in the mouth,
remember Jonah. He came out
alright."
"Sign broken. Message inside this
Sunday."
"Have trouble sleeping? We have
sermons - come hear one!"
A singing group called "The
Resurrection" was scheduled to sing
at a church. When a big snowstorm
postponed the performance, the
pastor fixed the outside sign to read,
"The Resurrection is postponed."
For quick relief: Take Two Tablets!
"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in
the wages of sin."
"Do not wait for the hearse to take
you to church."
"If you're headed in the wrong
direction, God allows U-turns."
"If you don't like the way you were
born, try being born again."
"Looking at the way some people
live, they ought to obtain eternal fire
insurance soon."
"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is
missing?" ---> (U R)
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