Steel Notes Magazine | 31
making it worse . I was all over the place trying to do all those songs from memory . I made it even harder for them to perform . I could hardly wait for the gig to be over , and when it was I was so relieved . I tried to pack up my guitar and split fast but before I could some slobbering drunk stumbled all over me , gurgling “ Man ...( belch !)... you guys are ( big long slur ) GREAT !”
Third scenario : I get a new student , an adult . He already plays in a cover band . He shows me a pretty big list of covers . Lots of songs I know , lots that I have played , and some I don ’ t know or actually do but don ’ t want to play . He shows me their schedule and it ’ s full . They have a lot of work . I never heard of them , but I guess they must be popular ... look how busy they are !
So I suggest some of his music for us to play together so I can see what he can do and how I can help . Yikes ! He ’ s horrible ! He can ’ t do anything more than what ’ s on the radio-played record , and he does it badly . How is he getting work ?
Final scenario . I audition for a well known cover band . These guys are pro ’ s . They are with the popular booking agency in town . They have a lot of work and they get paid extremely well . I ’ m in their practice room which has more gear than I ’ ll ever see outside of a music store or major concert . We are all waiting for one more member to show up , a keyboardist . Everyone else is there , singers , bass , drums , horns , etc . All they ’ re talking about is how quick can they make some money . I swear I literally heard them say “ it ’ s just about the money ” so many times I wanted to hit someone .
So I ’ m nervous , and impatient , just sitting on my amp . Finally I say “ C ’ mon ! Let ’ s do something ! Let ’ s jam !” They can ’ t do it ! “ What do you mean jam ?” they say . “ You know , a blues or something ” I reply . “ Oh , blues ...” They all start paging through their big books of cover material and finally find a Susan Tedeschi song ( what they ’ re doing with that I ’ ll never guess . A favorite of a female vocalist maybe .) “ Here ’ s one ” they confidently say . “ It ’ s blues ” and they start playing this song that is some pop crap that I ’ d never associate with blues as I know it . They obviously were out of their element .
OK so what is the lesson here ? The lesson is you ’ re not being paid to play well , sound good , or be interesting . You ’ re being paid to SELL BOOZE . Appeal to the MASSES . ( I ’ ve always been suspicious of the masses , and anything that EVERYBODY says is what I should like .)
In the first scenario , my band did well and offered something fresh and new and original but the club hired a less talented cover band to do songs that their beer drinking crowd knew better . Danceable stuff . All I could offer was great musicians ( who actually tour internationally ) a new crowd , and some originality .
In the second scenario the cover band I filled in with was bad from the start but is probably told they ’ re great repeatedly . But with a drunken slur .
Third scenario is the same story : bands doing popular favorites , no matter how poorly , and being asked back .
Steel Notes Magazine | 31