“ The library it is then .” He too a glance at Eddie ’ s shocked face before laughing out loud . “ I ’ m kidding . Gosh , glad to know you don ’ t think I take my education seriously . I ’ ll have you know , I ’ m as dedicated as they come .”
It was Eddie ’ s turn to laugh then , because that was the farthest thing from the truth . “ Let ’ s drive to Rosie ’ s . I haven ’ t been there in a while , and you know how I love my soft serve .” Matt nodded his head in agreement . “ Sure thing , Eds .”
They spent the rest of the car ride talking and laughing . All at once Eddie was reminded of what it was like to be a careless teenager riding on the back of his best friend ’ s bicycle . He could almost feel the summer wind blowing through his curly locks again , and he smiled to himself , thankful to have a best friend like Matt who constantly reminded him of what it was to be young and free . Moments like that seized Eddie ’ s loneliness away and brought a tender smile back to his face . Moments like that were golden .
Seven years later , Eddie Rosenthal , well , Edward Rosenthal , as he was called now , kissed his fiancee , Cindy , on the cheek as he walked through the living room . She seemed to be drifting off to sleep before he walked in , but she still looked up to smile at him lazily before he walked away . Edward loosened his tie and made a beeline for their bedroom , changing into more comfortable clothing while being careful not to wake their neighbors . It was already nine o ’ clock , but Edward had only just gotten home from work . He was working overtime this week , saving up the extra money for their wedding .
Though he had six months to prepare for the big day , he figured he better start saving up now so he didn ' t have to worry later . He was responsible in that way . Edward wanted nothing more than to make Cindy happy , and if that meant working late to have a big wedding , then so be it .
Work . It seemed that was all he ever did these days . He didn ' t talk much to anyone other than his co-workers or Cindy anymore , and when he did it was brief and rushed . He woke up every morning to go to work , then came home late to say goodnight to Cindy and sleep . But that ' s adulthood , right ? He thought it would be greedy to want more than what he had , although he couldn ' t say that he didn ' t sometimes wish he could have at least one real friend that he could talk to about things other than work and weddings with .
His life , though stable and normal , seemed dull and dreary and most of all lonely . All he ever did was mechanically follow a routine , trapped under the crushing idea that this was life at its fullest . How little he knew about living , even after growing up being taught that living was going to parties and diners and football games and standing up on bicycles even though he knew he would fall .
Perhaps Edward ’ s life was this way because of how his childhood lied to him . He grew up golden and loved , before promises started breaking and friends started drifting . He remembered the first day Andrea forgot to call him , he remembered saying goodbye to Mary and Victor as they left for college , and he remembered the last time Matt had called him Edmund before hanging up the phone and never calling again .
Edward sighed and pulled down the covers of the double bed . He could feel the soft sheets brush against his legs as he pulled them up over his chest . He needed to go to bed early tonight , so he could stop thinking about all of this . His loneliness could be ignored another day as could his longing soul . He closed his eyes and tried drifting off to sleep , barely listening to the sounds of Cindy ’ s footsteps down the hall or the feeling of the bed dipping down as she laid down beside him . His heart told him that his life was missing something more , but his sleepy mind was telling him to shut up and go to sleep . So that he did .
Seven years later , Edward Rosenthal felt like life had cheated him out . He wanted to kick over a chair or yell at the doctor in front of him . But instead , he nodded carefully , thinking over what to say next . “ Okay ,” he said with a shaking voice . “ Okay .”
Pancreatic cancer was going to take Edward ’ s life in three to four years . At least , that ' s what the doctor had told him . He felt as if life had been cheating him all along , for life had given him a son , a wife , and a stable job , while taking away his joy and fulfillment . And now life was only giving him thirty-nine years when he was supposed to have at least seventy . This death sentence seemed like a wakeup call , a slap in the face to remind him that life ' s not fair and it never has been .
Perhaps he deserved this , because he was barely living anyways . His golden days had ended long ago and now he was left with graying hair and emptiness .
When he left the doctor ’ s office , he called his mother . He was unsure why he called Vivian before he called Cindy , but something about it felt safer than calling his wife first . Vivian picked up on the first ring . “ Hello ? Eddie is that you , dear ?” The familiar voice of his aging mother almost made him break down crying right there in the parking lot . It was such a relief to hear her voice after so long . “ Yes , Mom it ’ s me Edward . I …” Edward trailed off , unable to find the right words to say . “ I ' m dying .” The words floated around in silence for a moment , before Vivian finally responded . “ Oh ,” she paused between her words , probably unable to comprehend what he had just said . “ Oh , sweetheart , where - are you sure ?” Edward nodded , before realizing she couldn ' t see his movement . “ Yeah , I-I ' m sure .” “ What did the doctor say ?” Her voice cracked on the last word . “ Oh , sweetheart …” She repeated herself , this time in tears .