“ The library it is then.” He too a glance at Eddie’ s shocked face before laughing out loud.“ I’ m kidding. Gosh, glad to know you don’ t think I take my education seriously. I’ ll have you know, I’ m as dedicated as they come.”
It was Eddie’ s turn to laugh then, because that was the farthest thing from the truth.“ Let’ s drive to Rosie’ s. I haven’ t been there in a while, and you know how I love my soft serve.” Matt nodded his head in agreement.“ Sure thing, Eds.”
They spent the rest of the car ride talking and laughing. All at once Eddie was reminded of what it was like to be a careless teenager riding on the back of his best friend’ s bicycle. He could almost feel the summer wind blowing through his curly locks again, and he smiled to himself, thankful to have a best friend like Matt who constantly reminded him of what it was to be young and free. Moments like that seized Eddie’ s loneliness away and brought a tender smile back to his face. Moments like that were golden.
Seven years later, Eddie Rosenthal, well, Edward Rosenthal, as he was called now, kissed his fiancee, Cindy, on the cheek as he walked through the living room. She seemed to be drifting off to sleep before he walked in, but she still looked up to smile at him lazily before he walked away. Edward loosened his tie and made a beeline for their bedroom, changing into more comfortable clothing while being careful not to wake their neighbors. It was already nine o’ clock, but Edward had only just gotten home from work. He was working overtime this week, saving up the extra money for their wedding.
Though he had six months to prepare for the big day, he figured he better start saving up now so he didn ' t have to worry later. He was responsible in that way. Edward wanted nothing more than to make Cindy happy, and if that meant working late to have a big wedding, then so be it.
Work. It seemed that was all he ever did these days. He didn ' t talk much to anyone other than his co-workers or Cindy anymore, and when he did it was brief and rushed. He woke up every morning to go to work, then came home late to say goodnight to Cindy and sleep. But that ' s adulthood, right? He thought it would be greedy to want more than what he had, although he couldn ' t say that he didn ' t sometimes wish he could have at least one real friend that he could talk to about things other than work and weddings with.
His life, though stable and normal, seemed dull and dreary and most of all lonely. All he ever did was mechanically follow a routine, trapped under the crushing idea that this was life at its fullest. How little he knew about living, even after growing up being taught that living was going to parties and diners and football games and standing up on bicycles even though he knew he would fall.
Perhaps Edward’ s life was this way because of how his childhood lied to him. He grew up golden and loved, before promises started breaking and friends started drifting. He remembered the first day Andrea forgot to call him, he remembered saying goodbye to Mary and Victor as they left for college, and he remembered the last time Matt had called him Edmund before hanging up the phone and never calling again.
Edward sighed and pulled down the covers of the double bed. He could feel the soft sheets brush against his legs as he pulled them up over his chest. He needed to go to bed early tonight, so he could stop thinking about all of this. His loneliness could be ignored another day as could his longing soul. He closed his eyes and tried drifting off to sleep, barely listening to the sounds of Cindy’ s footsteps down the hall or the feeling of the bed dipping down as she laid down beside him. His heart told him that his life was missing something more, but his sleepy mind was telling him to shut up and go to sleep. So that he did.
Seven years later, Edward Rosenthal felt like life had cheated him out. He wanted to kick over a chair or yell at the doctor in front of him. But instead, he nodded carefully, thinking over what to say next.“ Okay,” he said with a shaking voice.“ Okay.”
Pancreatic cancer was going to take Edward’ s life in three to four years. At least, that ' s what the doctor had told him. He felt as if life had been cheating him all along, for life had given him a son, a wife, and a stable job, while taking away his joy and fulfillment. And now life was only giving him thirty-nine years when he was supposed to have at least seventy. This death sentence seemed like a wakeup call, a slap in the face to remind him that life ' s not fair and it never has been.
Perhaps he deserved this, because he was barely living anyways. His golden days had ended long ago and now he was left with graying hair and emptiness.
When he left the doctor’ s office, he called his mother. He was unsure why he called Vivian before he called Cindy, but something about it felt safer than calling his wife first. Vivian picked up on the first ring.“ Hello? Eddie is that you, dear?” The familiar voice of his aging mother almost made him break down crying right there in the parking lot. It was such a relief to hear her voice after so long.“ Yes, Mom it’ s me Edward. I …” Edward trailed off, unable to find the right words to say.“ I ' m dying.” The words floated around in silence for a moment, before Vivian finally responded.“ Oh,” she paused between her words, probably unable to comprehend what he had just said.“ Oh, sweetheart, where- are you sure?” Edward nodded, before realizing she couldn ' t see his movement.“ Yeah, I-I ' m sure.”“ What did the doctor say?” Her voice cracked on the last word.“ Oh, sweetheart …” She repeated herself, this time in tears.