SMILE LINES ( with thanks to St Augustine ’ s Dumbarton )
At the Pearly Gates , St Peter greeted a minister and a member of parliament and gave them their room keys . “ Vicar , here are the keys to one of the nicest single rooms . And for you , Mr MP , the keys to our finest penthouse suite .”
The vicar began to protest that this was unfair . “ Listen ,” St Peter said , “ ministers are ten to a penny up here , but this is the first MP we ’ ve ever seen ”. ______________
A pastor , known for his lengthy sermons , noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message . The man returned just before the conclusion of the service .
Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone . “ I went to get a haircut ”, was the reply .
“ But ,” said the pastor , ” why didn ’ t you do that before the service ?”
“ Because ,” the gentleman said , “ I didn ’ t need one then .” ______________
An exasperated mother , whose son was always getting into mischief , finally asked him , “ How do you expect to get into Heaven ?” The boy thought it over and said ” Well , I ’ ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says ‘ for Heaven ’ s sake , Dylan , come in or stay out !’ _______________
StOM Page 9