A Divine Gift
A Divine Gift
by September McCarthy
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The world has created idealistic versions of what being a mom is. Women seem to be given choices of which version of mom they would“ like to be.” Stereotypes come in all shapes and forms: working mother, stayat-home mother, helicopter mother, soccer mom, devoted mom, and cool mom. Sure, we find our people, our style, our groove. We can choose to stay home or a career, and yet, we are and always will be“ mother”— the woman up at night cradling her baby, wondering if she will ever see a full night of sleep again. A mother bears heartache and carries pride when her children do hard things, overcome obstacles, win an award, or make new friends. A mother feels every fiber of her child’ s pain and celebrates every milestone because her children are not only part of her, but they are also a major part of her life.
With seven daughters, I have learned that there is no one way to be the best girl mom. Because my daughters are so very different, my relationship with each of them is unique as well. From the moment I held them in my arms, I knew they would each need me uniquely, and I would love them all so differently. When I learned to see myself the way God sees me, I was able to give my girls a gift I am not sure they are even aware of yet. I gave them the gift of acceptance and uninhibited love. I began loving them without expectations. I thought the best of them when they were silent or busy. I rediscovered how I love and need to be loved. I cheered them on, was present when I could be, and didn’ t function out of guilt when I couldn’ t be. As exhausting as it sounds to lavish attention on your daughters, it is also just as suffocating to them, and your relationship. Your daughters want you to be happy and whole. This is how you break the chain of broken relationships. It is not just your actions that are important. You need to heal the wounds and lies you’ ve believed about yourself.
Your family may not have a line of broken mother-daughter relationships, but some of us do. Right now, whether you are raising little girls, middles, teens, or young adults, your future is in the mirror. Your young girls have the potential to be your best friends someday. The trajectory for your relationships is being set in your everyday moments. Do not underestimate the impact your own identity and personal healing will have on your future.
Sometimes, we will lose sight of who we are while living out our role as a mother. We forget that we are growing, changing, and becoming someone as well. Deep within the confines of our souls— who we believe we are, how we see ourselves— those are the pieces our children see when they see their mothers. They get the best and the worst of us. They watch us change and grow. They witness the sacrifice, the testing of our patience— our words rolling off hasty tongues— and the sanctifying work of growth that is only seen by those closest to us.
Raising daughters is a divine gift to show them Jesus. Be the reflection of Him they see clearer than any other. We have been given a rare and amazing gift to raise the next generation, lead families in a legacy of faith, and to be called a woman of God. Let’ s reclaim our mother-daughter relationships, so we can raise faith-filled daughters who can confidently know they are loved.
Adapted from Raising Daughters by September McCarthy(© 2026). Published by Moody Publishers. Used by permission.
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Mother of seven girls, September McCarthy writes with warmth and honesty for mothers raising young daughters to love Jesus and their family. Paperback $ 15.99