The Fun Mom
The Fun Mom
by Hallie Dye
Several summers ago, we joined a gym. I promise it is first and foremost a gym, but I’ ll be honest— the pool, the splash pad and the snack bar sold me. The week we joined, my husband, Andrew, who is fun and adventurous, came home from work and suggested we take the kids to swim before dinner. Having been at home all day, I wanted to be excited at that moment. I really did. I tried to match his enthusiasm without effort or hesitation. I wanted, for once in my life, to be the fun mom.
To be fair, our kids were four, three and one at the time. Not one of them knew how to swim, and to point out the obvious yet ridiculously hard truth: there were three of them and two of us. Having three children, we’ ve found, is moving from man-to-man defense into zone defense. And I’ m not the most athletically inclined, so zone defense next to pools of open water isn’ t exactly my idea of a good time. For these reasons, I internally struggled to correct my mood.
The kids had a great time, Andrew had a great time, and honestly, I considered it a success, too. However, on the way home, I couldn’ t shake the inner turmoil from before. It wasn’ t even really about the pool— it was something much deeper the experience merely touched on.
When we were almost home, the kids were preoccupied with talking and playing in the back seat, and I finally voiced to Andrew what was troubling me,“ I just want to be the fun mom who is always loving and kind.” I’ m an external processor and needed to say it out loud, but I also fully expected him to assure me without pause that I was indeed all those things. Following this, I would have unquestionably chucked out all his well-meaning words since he’ s biased and loves me to a fault. Except, much to my surprise, he didn’ t. Instead, what he said caught me so off guard that it will subsequently stay with me for the rest of my life.
“ Do you want a God who is always fun and loving and kind?” he asked.
That made me stop. Andrew’ s question had me jerking my head back— the way you do when you’ re taken aback— as if by exposing a double chin, we can better assess the situation. It was a question I truthfully wasn’ t sure how to answer. I mean, those are great qualities and characteristics I do believe God has, but to sum Him up as such? That seemed... small and insufficient. Knowing that we have absolutely no say in who God is, I chose to play along and finally landed on,“ Well, I want a God that is good.” Andrew paused for a split second, almost as if he knew what I would say, and then his next words were more life-giving than anything else he could have ever told me.“ Exactly,” he said.“ And that encompasses a lot more than just fun and loving and kind. And that’ s what you’ re giving our kids.”
As I thought about what Andrew said, and okay, cried a little as that truth seeped deep into a weary soul that had unknowingly craved those exact words, I realized something. I couldn’ t simply respond with an easy“ yes” to his question because, while I think those qualities sound nice, I ultimately knew deep down that I wanted a God who does the hard things and pushes me to do the hard things. I love that God isn’ t just good but is for our good and works all things for our good— even the ugly mess. I love that my mess and mistakes don’ t throw Him off. I love that He’ s safe when my circumstances aren’ t. His plans and my story won’ t always be fun. They won’ t always feel loving and kind, but they are. He always works things out for our good and His purposes. And as I grow, I realize I want that more than I want what I want— to be the perfect fun mom.
Adapted from You’ re Still a Good Mom by Hallie Dye(© 2025). Published by Moody Publishers. Used by permission.
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