Ten Ways to Have a More Constructive Conversation with Your Clients
By Mark Bassingthwaighte
In the context of a conversation between an attorney and a client , effective communication occurs when both the attorney and the client feel they have been heard . For example , at the outset of representation , a client is often looking for confirmation their lawyer understands the problem and desired outcome . Similarly , a lawyer is often looking for confirmation the client has a clear understanding of what the lawyer can realistically do for the client given the circumstances at hand . The challenge here is that an effective communication can only occur by way of a constructive conversation , which requires both participants to enter a mutual conversation . There must be a balance between talking and listening .
This balance thing can be harder than it might seem . Suffice it to say , while I can be a good listener at times , having a constructive conversation every time I open my mouth remains a challenge , and it ’ s all about my being unable to find that proper balance between talking and listening . In fact , in my personal life , I have been told more than a few times by my lovely wife that if I would just listen , it would become apparent that she isn ’ t looking to have me solve her problem . Sometimes , she just wants to be heard , to get it out , so to speak . Unfortunately , the lawyer problem solver in me just can ’ t shut up . I suspect I ’ m not the only lawyer who suffers from this conversational shortcoming . I don ’ t know about you , but law school taught me how to problem solve . I never had any law professor pontificate on the virtues of being an effective listener . Quite the opposite in fact , I was taught how to debate and how to put forth a compelling argument .
If any of this is striking a chord with you , following through with even one or two of the following tips will enable you to have a more constructive conversation with your clients . All 10 tips come from a TED Talk by noted author , journalist , and speaker Celeste Headlee . The following are a summary of her points coupled with my trying to put an attorney-client conversation spin on them . If you care to view the entire TED Talk , and I encourage you to do so , you will find it at https :// www . ted . com / talks / celeste _ headlee _ 10 _ ways _ to _ have _ a _ better _ conversation # t-653478 .
In sum :
1 ) Don ’ t Multi-task – Simply be present and pay attention . No texting , no thinking about other matters , no working through your email . You are in your client ’ s employ and this is his or her time .
2 ) Don ’ t Pontificate – Enter every conversation with an assumption YOU have something to learn . Remember , the matter being discussed is the client ’ s matter . The more you learn , the better your advice will be .
3 ) Use open ended questions – Questions like “ Will you tell me more about that ?” invite your client to think and provide a more informative response . You don ’ t want to make it easy for a client to sit back and just confirm what you think you know or want to hear .
ALPS Risk Manager Mark Bassingthwaighte , Esq ., Since 1998 , he has been a Risk Manager with ALPS , an attorney ’ s professional liability insurance carrier . In his tenure with the company , Mr . Bassingthwaighte has conducted over 1200 law firm risk management assessment visits , presented over 400 continuing legal education seminars throughout the United States , and written extensively on risk management , ethics , and technology . Mr . Bassingthwaighte is a member of the State Bar of Montana as well as the American Bar Association where he currently sits on the ABA Center for Professional Responsibility ’ s Conference Planning Committee . He received his J . D . from Drake University Law School .
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