Dear Dr Day Ting
Candace
Re: I want to date my childhood sweetheart!
Hi Candace,
You told me that you are a missionary kid and you are a Christian. Also, your parents do not care if you date when you are in university, but you are not sure about if you should date your childhood sweetheart because you realize that you like him a lot. I think you should think about if you should date him, even though you might really like him a lot and he likes you a lot back, too. Also, even though if you believe that he is a believer. I do not have anything against unbelievers, but the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” God does not have anything against unbelievers as well, but God knows that believers with unbelievers do not mix well together. First off, believers will have different values from unbelievers. For example, if you choose to go to church over having a date with an unbeliever, the unbeliever might get upset over that and might hold it against you, even though you just wanted to worship God with other believers on Sunday. Second, an unbeliever might do bad things and they might drag you into doing it. At first you might not give in, but later you might be tempted to follow. As 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” Which relates to the part from the previous verse, “How can light live with darkness?”
If your sweetheart is a believer, thank the Lord! Both of you have claimed to be saved! Then your relationship should be easier because both your values would be more similar and can understand each other more. For example, your sweetheart would understand you choosing to go to church over spending time with him. Also you guys might want to go to the same church! Even though both of you are believers, I just want to remind you to do everything for the glory of God, as in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” Bringing glory to God with your relationship does not mean following all. In order for your relationship to bring glory to God, that people will see that the relationship between you and your sweetheart is godly and that is what it means to bring glory to God. Just a reminder to refrain from sexual immorality, which is also stated in the Bible in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.” I’m not saying that you will do that, but just want to remind you. Some dating practices that I suggest that can help you avoid falling into temptation are to set yourself limits and wear clothing that is not very exposing. The limits you set could be, no kissing until after a period of time or maybe not even holding hands on the first date. And as for the clothing, I think that you and I know what types of clothing are exposing enough to cause the opposite gender to fall in temptation.
Ultimately when you have a relationship with somebody, love them. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
And I always say, just pray and things will turn out okay (:
That’s pretty much the advice I can give to you (: Hope you have some idea of what you should do now (:
With love,
Dr. Day Ting
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