SPLICED STUFF /
ISSUE 06
FEATURE / THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE
Quick tip
NO.
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DON’T GET LAZY / The
shambling, falling-apart type
zombies might not be fast,
but they won’t stop until
they’re dead or fed. Bunker
down safely every night.
/ FIND A WEAPON /
If you’re going to save anyone, including yourself, you need
to be armed. Grab the nearest sharp or heavy implement
you can find and get ready for anything. Sporting
equipment is always good, but don’t think that your
R10,000 golf club is going to perform any better than a
hunk of wood with spiky bits on it.
/ FIND FOOD AND WATER /
Lots of it, but only what’s in the house. Things in tins might
not taste the greatest, but they’ll last a long time. Pack
everything into a sturdy backpack and find the car keys.
Save the grocery store raids for when you’ve had a chance
to properly assess the situation.
/ FIND YOUR FAMILY /
If they’ve already been turned into the shambling dead,
they’re too late for saving but not for a swift whack to the
head. If they’re still alive, great; they can carry the heavy
stuff while you take care of business.
/ FIND A SAFE PLACE /
Avoid excessively public places, as they’re almost definitely
swarming with things that want to eat your brains. Building
supply depots will have plenty of stuff to build your
ultimate zombie fortress, but a simple gardening store or
nursery could supply you with food for a lifetime if you can
figure out a hoe from a hose. Similarly, never underestimate
the isolated, food-bearing farmlands, and pigs could be
your best defence against a wall of rotting flesh if need be.
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