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In my research I found out that Down syndromes is a chromosomal abnormality. It can happen to anyone, at any age, of any race, regardless of their diet or whether or not they were “a good person”.
Then I found a film on YouTube called Dakota’s Pride. The film depicted so many wonderful adults with Down syndrome that were excelling in all areas of life!
They were athletes, business owners, public speakers, newlyweds! They were just like anyone else! There was no reason to pity them, no reason to look away!
At the next ultrasound I watched my babies, now confirmed to be boys, bounce around, playfully pushing each other.
I could see their little arms, legs, hands and feet. Their beautiful profiles. Their hearts, beating.
My boys.
I loved them from the minute I found out I was expecting. They were my children and I was their mother.
In that moment I decided to let go. Let go of the grief. Let go of the guilt I felt for the weeks I spent crying. For letting the antiquated information I had about people with disabilities cloud my vision of “perfection”.
For letting the doctors fill my head with doubt and question whether or not my children were worthy of coming into this world because of their extra chromosome. Down Syndrome was not the worst thing in the world.
They would have a future. My children would go to school, and parties and vacations!
They would wake up on Christmas morning and open the gifts that Santa left.
They would climb into our laps at bedtime to hear a story.
They would chase each other in the back yard in the summer and fight over toys.
They would ask for extra ice cream on the rare days that we ate it.
They would live a life of limitless possibilities, a life full of LOVE!
"I let go of the sadness and chose to be happy. I was about to embark on a great journey."