Special Delivery WINTER 2018 | Page 57

ROUTINE, BUT NOT TOO RIGID

Try to not fall into the trap where day and night no longer mean anything. Sitting about in your pyjamas for the next year will only make you feel worse. Aim to have a proper day where you get up and get changed and get out of the house. In the evening, try to create a different atmosphere by having a wind-down routine for you and your baby when possible. Low lights, quiet time.

GET HELP TO GET SOME ZZZs

If a friend visits, ask them to watch the baby while you have a 20 minute breather in your bedroom. People usually want to help a new mum, they just don’t always know how so ask for what you need.

REST WHEN YOUR BABY RESTS

"Sleep when your baby sleeps" Is nice in theory but as soon as you try do it your mind kicks into over drive and the more you try the harder it is to drift off. The key is to accept that you may sleep or you may not, that’s not in your control. But you can rest. This could be just putting your feet up, listening to a mindfulness exercise or lying down in a quiet room and enjoying, for a very brief while, no one spitting up on you.

Dr Sam Akbar is a clinical psychologist

and the founder of She Minds (www.sheminds.co), an online psychological toolkit for working women

DON'T BE A PERFECTIONIST

Park your rigid views about what a normal functioning person should do at the labour ward door. I am not saying that you have to let every standard go but be realistic about what you can achieve. Unrealistic goals are the biggest reason people don’t achieve what they want. Go to the supermarket if it gets you out of the house, but shop online when you can’t face it. Read a bit of Grazia but accept you may not get to the end of War and Peace just now.