When Getting Pregnant Means Friendship
When I became pregnant in 2015 one of the things that first concerned me was that I didn’t have any pregnant friends close to me for support. Those I did have were back in my native Brazil. I started looking around and realised there were more young mums everywhere I went than I had first thought. You don’t notice them much until you become one of them!
I started to look for support groups and came across a Meet Up group for mums-to-be which seemed to fit the bill. I went to a get together at a café to find everybody else was “more” pregnant than I was (I was only 11 weeks when I met them). That meant that I was the last one to give birth and got to also enjoy everybody else’s baby before I could meet my own!
It was very interesting how we bonded as each girl was pretty much from a different country. There was an Australian, a German, a French, a Namibian, an American, a Colombian, a Nigerian, an English girl and me, the Brazilian of the group. It was lovely to be around them and to be able to share so many precious experiences, although I thought it was a bit weird once everybody had given birth but me as they were talking about issues I didn’t feel part of yet. It also got a bit difficult to meet up as we all were spread across London and were in different stages with our babies. Nevertheless, we keep in touch via whatsapp where we answer each other’s questions, share tips and plan get-togethers. I loved getting to know them and I do hope our friendship lasts.
Although I already had met some lovely people I decided to still attend the NCT class in Clapham. The idea was to meet not just other girls, but also couples so my husband and I could hang out with them in our neighbourhood, as well as learn more on giving birth and parenthood in general. There were five other lovely couples and thankfully we all got along well. As expected the ladies get together more often than the men. In fairness they have got together couple of times which have proved to be “epic” (due to the fact they start off early in the pub and end quite late).
One of the babies came earlier than expected making us all a bit worried who would be next. But soon enough, the rest had arrived, and now all the babies were here we have taken our recent friendship to the next level and started taking turns to host the others. This way it is easier to have our babies interacting with each other. We are not that active on whatsapp, but we keep bumping at each other on the street, and when we meet in person it is always great. I hope our relationship continues as it will be great to see our babies growing together.
As a foreigner in this city, the NCT and Meet Up group have given me friends who are experiencing the same issues I am. They have helped me realise that what I have had to deal with has not been unusual, that people will help me if I need it, and that I am not doing too badly at being a parent so far!
Read more of Evelini's experiences on her blog www.lovingaforeigner.com
When she became pregnant, Evelini Quarrell’s friends who already had young children mainly lived in Brazil. Finding support groups helped her through her pregnancy, and the early days of parenthood.
Pregnancy & Birth