Early Days
Babies are born with an extraordinary ability to be sociable and make connections with other people. Newborns show a clear preference for human faces and voices, for instance turning towards the sound of a human voice rather than a similar non-human sound. In turn, babies’ big eyes and other adorable facial features draw adults to them. The hormone oxytocin, sometimes nicknamed the ‘love drug,’ can be produced when touching, feeding or even watching a baby.
In the very early days, babies are usually only alert for short periods. Feeding, sleeping and fussing or crying can occupy most of their time. Much of the communication between newborns and their parents takes place by way of touch, through feeding, holding and soothing. Some babies have a strong need to be held close to their caregivers at all times. This can be challenging for parents in the overwhelming early days. Using a sling is one option to consider. Asking friends or family members to hold your baby can also give you a break, as well as being a lovely opportunity for them to connect with your baby.
By the second month, babies are awake, calm and alert for longer periods of time. They become more active partners in social engagement through eye contact, smiles and babbling. Parents often imitate or ‘mirror’ their baby’s behaviour, for instance copying their facial expressions or the noises they make. Parents also use sounds and faces to display ‘marking’ of their baby’s actions. ‘Marking’ communicates that the baby has done something significant and helps give their actions meaning – an example would be an exclamation of delight when the baby smiles.
Social animals: babies’ communication in the early days
Clapham NCT Postnatal Leader, Alex Bollen, on a baby’s amazing capabilities to connect and communicate
Crying like a baby
Crying is a baby’s most basic – and effective – form of communication. Babies tend to cry most between the ages of two weeks and three months, with crying peaking between six to eight weeks.
It is sometimes argued that there are different ‘cry types’ which should enable parents to work out the reason why their baby is crying. However the research evidence does not support this theory, and instead suggests that crying is a ‘graded signal’ which conveys a baby’s degree of distress. In other words, the greater the distress, the more urgent the cry. Parents learn to work out the reasons why their baby is crying through their experience of their baby and contextual information (such as when the baby last fed or slept).
Periods of inconsolable crying – when nothing seems to soothe a baby – are common. We still don’t really understand what causes it, but we do know that inconsolable crying in the early weeks is universal and happens regardless of what parents do. Although it may not feel like it, it is not your fault and it will pass. In the meantime it is important that you look after yourself so you can cope with the crying. The charity Cry-sis* offers help and support for parents