THE STORY OF SBBU
The 1st SBBU( 2022)
The 2nd SBBU( 2023) failure was announced by a Scottish highlander playing“ Taps” on the bagpipes. The event raised over R120,000 for CHOC.
It need not be said but, to be clear, and for posterity, Johnny Cobra is an excellent fly fisherman.
2023
War stories from the 2022 edition of the SBBU made the rounds. Word spreads quickly in this day and age of The Ultra-mania Interweb and The Instagrizzle. For the 2023 SBBU, 40 runners presented themselves to the Spartan Baby barracks. They knew more or less what to expect. The lore had rippled. Some had flown in from the town previously called Port Elizabeth to take part.
They heard of the barracks. And the loops. Loops with names and maps which change every six hours. Different imprecise loops where you find beautiful houses with colourful gardens and smiling residents. They know this is not Comrades. And that neither is it a Park Run. The Fear is there. Because they have heard of the hills which morph into the Himalayas. And there is the lack of sleep which causes grains of time to slip through the fingers. They know there will be a piper playing“ Taps” if they fail or bail. And they have heard of the demotivational posters planted around the course like go-away signs in Shrek’ s garden.
The allure is the sense they have found their tribe. And the admission price is to keep moving for 24 hours without quitting. How hard can that be?
In 2023, only 1 of the Magnificent Four finished the 100 miler. Her name? Crazy Hazy The New Improved Version(“ CHTNIV”).
Her fallen 100-mile comrades, the impeccably named runners: The Munger, The Warmonger and Johnny Cobra, all failed in their 100-mile attempts. The Munger managed 6 loops. The Warmonger finished 14. Johnny Cobra made it halfway. It says a lot about the calibre of Johnny Cobra that he attempted a race of his invention when it was never certain that it was something he could complete. And it says a lot that he only made it halfway. What bears lurk in them thar woods?
Of the 100k runners, Terminator terminated after 16 loops. Princess imploded after 14 loops. Bricius succumbed before his 17th. Irish Spartan completed his 23rd loop, got lost and then isn’ t certain how he finished fifteen minutes after the race ended.
Although they completed all 24 loops, The Flightless Eagles and Simzo’ s team were disqualified because teams – as we all know- are not allowed at the SBBU.
• In 2022, the SBBU raised over R120,000 for CHOC.
• In 2023, the SBBU raised over R330,000 for CHOC.
• In 2024, the SBBU runners aim to raise R550,000 taking the SBBU fundraising total to R1 million.
Spartan babies who could not cut the mustard at birth and who seemed weak or infirm were tossed off a hill cliff to their deaths. So the legend says.
On Saturday the 27th April 2024, 52 runners – including Johnny Cobra who is attempting the 100 miler for a second time- get to check if they are worthy of being considered strong enough to be bestowed the title of Spartan Baby and spared from the cliffs of doom.
Time reveals all.
~ Belloc72
Johnny Cobra swears that if it wasn’ t for CHTNIV unleashing instructive expletives he would never have made 10, let alone 12 loops.
“ It doesn’ t count if you don’ t at least make halfway” is the PG version of what she said.
* In 2022 the allotted start hour was 6pm. In 2023 it was 10am. The varied start times reflect that Johnny Cobra’ s experimentation with his friends continues.
** Not his real name. Not even close.
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