THE STORY OF SBBU
The 1st SBBU ( 2022 )
The 2nd SBBU ( 2023 ) failure was announced by a Scottish highlander playing “ Taps ” on the bagpipes . The event raised over R120,000 for CHOC .
It need not be said but , to be clear , and for posterity , Johnny Cobra is an excellent fly fisherman .
2023
War stories from the 2022 edition of the SBBU made the rounds . Word spreads quickly in this day and age of The Ultra-mania Interweb and The Instagrizzle . For the 2023 SBBU , 40 runners presented themselves to the Spartan Baby barracks . They knew more or less what to expect . The lore had rippled . Some had flown in from the town previously called Port Elizabeth to take part .
They heard of the barracks . And the loops . Loops with names and maps which change every six hours . Different imprecise loops where you find beautiful houses with colourful gardens and smiling residents . They know this is not Comrades . And that neither is it a Park Run . The Fear is there . Because they have heard of the hills which morph into the Himalayas . And there is the lack of sleep which causes grains of time to slip through the fingers . They know there will be a piper playing “ Taps ” if they fail or bail . And they have heard of the demotivational posters planted around the course like go-away signs in Shrek ’ s garden .
The allure is the sense they have found their tribe . And the admission price is to keep moving for 24 hours without quitting . How hard can that be ?
In 2023 , only 1 of the Magnificent Four finished the 100 miler . Her name ? Crazy Hazy The New Improved Version (“ CHTNIV ”).
Her fallen 100-mile comrades , the impeccably named runners : The Munger , The Warmonger and Johnny Cobra , all failed in their 100-mile attempts . The Munger managed 6 loops . The Warmonger finished 14 . Johnny Cobra made it halfway . It says a lot about the calibre of Johnny Cobra that he attempted a race of his invention when it was never certain that it was something he could complete . And it says a lot that he only made it halfway . What bears lurk in them thar woods ?
Of the 100k runners , Terminator terminated after 16 loops . Princess imploded after 14 loops . Bricius succumbed before his 17th . Irish Spartan completed his 23rd loop , got lost and then isn ’ t certain how he finished fifteen minutes after the race ended .
Although they completed all 24 loops , The Flightless Eagles and Simzo ’ s team were disqualified because teams – as we all know - are not allowed at the SBBU .
• In 2022 , the SBBU raised over R120,000 for CHOC .
• In 2023 , the SBBU raised over R330,000 for CHOC .
• In 2024 , the SBBU runners aim to raise R550,000 taking the SBBU fundraising total to R1 million .
Spartan babies who could not cut the mustard at birth and who seemed weak or infirm were tossed off a hill cliff to their deaths . So the legend says .
On Saturday the 27th April 2024 , 52 runners – including Johnny Cobra who is attempting the 100 miler for a second time - get to check if they are worthy of being considered strong enough to be bestowed the title of Spartan Baby and spared from the cliffs of doom .
Time reveals all .
~ Belloc72
Johnny Cobra swears that if it wasn ’ t for CHTNIV unleashing instructive expletives he would never have made 10 , let alone 12 loops .
“ It doesn ’ t count if you don ’ t at least make halfway ” is the PG version of what she said .
* In 2022 the allotted start hour was 6pm . In 2023 it was 10am . The varied start times reflect that Johnny Cobra ’ s experimentation with his friends continues .
** Not his real name . Not even close .
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