47 . Avoid the “ Four F ’ s Syndrome ”
Most training and learning doesn ’ t last . No stickiness . We attend a seminar and vow to transform our lives . We say we ’ ll be better parents , more effective leaders and wise human beings . Two days later , it ’ s back to business as usual – seeing the negative , playing the victim and being cranky . The learning didn ’ t work . Because we didn ’ t change .
No one wants to fail . So most of us don ’ t even try .
Having helped hundreds of thousands of people create sustained change , the businesses around the world win in their markets , I ’ ve identified four main reasons why people resist change and often don ’ t take the steps to elevate their careers and their lives , even when they have the opportunity to do so . With greater aware nesses of these four factors – which I call the Four F ’ s Syndrome – you can make better choices . And when you make better choices , you are certain to experience better results . Big idea : Personal leadership begins with self – awareness because you can ’ t improve a weakness or a blind spot you don ’ t even know about . In other words , once you know better you can do better .
Here are the four things that keep us from making the changes we want to make :
FEAR : People fear leaving their safe harbor of the known and venturing off into the unknown . Human beings crave certainty – even when it limits them . Most of us don ’ t like trying something new – it brings up our discomfort . They key here is to manage your fear by going the very thing that frightens you . That ’ s the best way to destroy a fear . Do it until you ’ re no longer scared . The fears you run away from run toward you . The fears you don ’ t own will own you . But behind every fear wall lives a precious treasure .
FAILURE : No one wants to fail . So most of us don ’ t even try . Sad . We don ’ t even take that first step to improve our health or to deepen our working relationships or to realize a dream . In my mind , the only failure in life is the failure to try . And I deeply believe that the greatest risk you can ever take is not taking risks . Take that small step and do it fast . Sports superstar Michael Jordon once said : “ There was never any fear for me , no fear of failure . If I miss a shot , so what ?” Failure is just an essential part of realizing success . There can be no success without failure .
FORGETTING : Sure we leave the seminar room after an inspirational workshop ready to change the world . But then we get to the office the next day and reality sets in . Difficult teammates to deal with . Unhappy customers to satisfy . Demanding bosses to appease . Uncooperative suppliers . No time to act on the commitments we made for personal and professional leadership . So we forget them . Here ’ s a key to success : Keep your commitments top of mind . Heighten your awareness around them . Better awareness – Better choices . Better choices – Better results . Keep your self – promises front and center . Don ’ t forget them . Put them on a three – by – five inch card that you post on your bathroom mirror and read every morning . Seems silly , works beautifully . ( You should see my bath – room mirror ). Talk about them a lot ( you become what you talk about ). Write about them each morning in your journal .
FAITH : Too many people have no faith . They are cynical . “ This leadership training and personal development stuff doesn ’ t work .” Or “ I ’ m too old to change .” Cynicism stems from disappointment . Cynical