84 Becoming a Patient
alter their position in the face of illness, and handle tensions between the
relationships they seek and those they end up having with their own
physicians.
These narratives have important implications—for example, in ex-
ploring the ways that these elements of style shape trainees’ decisions,
and the ways medicine is an art—even more than most doctors generally
like to admit. These doctors offered a key suggestion for lay patients, too:
to ask a head nurse (or other nurses) for recommendations for physician
referrals, as these staff members have seen many doctors’ successes and
failures over the years.
Lay patients who choose friends as their doctors or have been treated
by a doctor for a long time may similarly face blurred roles that can cause
or reflect denial by either party. In confronting these tensions in choosing
physicians, and maintaining appropriate doctor-patient relationships, lay
patients certainly face analogous obstacles—without the same resources.