80 Becoming a Patient
Other dynamics, perceived norms, and rationalizations could further
perpetuate denial. Taboos against criticizing peers could impede col-
leagues from reproaching a physician’s self-treatment. Often, colleagues
could only gingerly suggest better follow-up. Eleanor added about her
husband:
Some colleagues would say, ‘‘You really ought to come in and
be checked.’’ But that’s where it began and ended. If he didn’t show
up, nobody came down the hall after him.
Even though her husband was now also a patient, his autonomy as a phy-
sician extended to his own self-care, and went unchallenged. The fact that
ill doctors had more power than other patients often led to confusion.
In part, colleagues didn’t want to offend a physician by implying that he
or she was incapable of caring for his or her own disease. Eleanor continued:
Physicians do not want to confront their colleagues—it’s the doc-
tor’s prerogative to remain in control of his or her own case. Col-
leagues almost felt they would be offending my husband, or
implying that he was not capable of managing his particular case.
Friends didn’t want to harass and infantilize him, and turn him into
a patient—just as they would never want to be turned into pa-
tients themselves. The only physician who truly confronted him was
his diabetologist, and my husband would just not go see him. My
husband saw his neurologist only because otherwise, he wouldn’t be
allowed to drive.
Norms of not criticizing colle