‘‘Us versus Them’’ 261
When I retired, I had seventeen letters that said that I was a traitor
for leaving them. We have magic. I only realized that, in a com-
prehended fashion, when I was a patient. Waiting for the doctor to
show up and say a few little common words—the faith.
On one level, intellectually, Harry knew this fact beforehand, but grasped
it—fully, experientially—only now. This gap illustrated the degree to
which book and experiential knowledge can vary. He suggested, too, why
waiting for the physician instilled frustration: these longed-for properties
themselves were delayed.
Still, this magic remains difficult to understand. Harry struggled to
find analogies, seeking other examples.
We transform expectations into magic. It’s nothing new: you expect
your mother to perform it. I wait for my mail: it’s going to trans-
form my life. I’m astounded by how eagerly I look at my mail. I know
it’s going to be rubbish. But there’s some fragment of magic there.
These desires are linked with and can engender a placebo effect. In-
deed, physicians’ power may have ancient and mythic sources. Harry
continued:
A solid figure with unlimited power is going to help you. Whether
doctors can or cannot, we’re there, and a little authoritative—
knowing more. One magnifies the object of one’s dependency in
order to feel more secure. We have healing powers. Everybody has
discovered this: faith healers, quacks, native tribes with their quasi-
religious figures dancing around the fire. . . . As long as she was
taking care of me, I knew I wasn’t going to die. Because of cheer-
fulness and positive attitude, people do better.
Though numerous popular jokes deride doctors for ‘‘acting like God,’’
here, patients themselves often feel that doctors are like God, possessing
special knowledge and powers. Illness can in fact promulgate a search for
such special abilities.
But medical training does not explicitly teach or discuss such powers.
Harry added, ‘‘Doctors are not aware of the extent of this. Maybe they
know, but don’t talk about it.’’ Yet he sensed that self-awareness of this
potency could be beneficial, ‘‘to help physicians understand themselves.’’
Still, such awareness may yield mixed results. Even Harry wavered,
pointing out, ‘‘If we became totally aware, we’d have bigger heads.’’