238 Being a Doctor After Being a Patient
was‘‘ Dr. G....’’ While I wouldn’ t make a reservation in a restaurant under‘‘ Dr. G...,’’ much of my life was my professional life, and people knew who I was. I was that persona. Now, most people who come into contact with me in supermarkets have no idea who I am. Now, the part that’ s a doctor is very small and contained. I’ m teaching, volunteering. With students, when I introduce myself as‘‘ Doctor,’’ rather than just giving my first and last name, I get totally different reactions. A title means so much to students. Everybody has one. When I don’ t use the title, I get treated like shit. I might just be the librarian. Very quickly after making that mistake and getting pushed around by first-year medical students, I found I had to pull rank. To them, the pecking order is very important. So there, I still use‘‘ Doctor.’’
In different social contexts, Stuart felt he had to legitimate his use of the title, and adjusted his moniker— not using it in the lab or pharmacy, but doing so at the medical school. He wanted neither special attention nor disrespect, but his altered view of himself collided with others’ views of him. These physicians encountered predicaments of how much information or explanation they needed to provide in different social and professional situations, and what the norms and expectations for truthtelling are: the‘‘ wholeness,’’ quantity, and quality of information provided. Misinformation( saying that he was‘‘ on sabbatical,’’ rather than‘‘ retired.’’) in turn created problems, particularly when the initial year finished.
They could relate to sabbatical. But as the year is ending, students have come up to me, asking for summer electives:‘‘ Are you in a practice? Do you still see patients?’’ I’ m still searching for a phrase that makes sense.
Stuart did not want to disclose his illness, and preferred to continue to be known as a‘‘ good teacher’’ rather than as merely a patient.
Ironically, outsiders perceived these decisions of what to call oneself very differently. Stuart’ s decision to forgo the title of‘‘ doctor’’ impressed some people by what they perceived to be his humility.
Neighbors have said,‘‘ You did some community organizing, and didn’ t use the MD!’’ One man thought it was the most modest thing he’ d ever heard:‘‘ It’ s nice that you’ re a doc and can just be yourself when you’ re talking to neighbors.’’