Spark [Robert_Klitzman]_When_Doctors_Become_Patients(Boo | Seite 203

192 Being a Doctor After Being a Patient
elusiveness of ‘‘the truth,’’ no longer thinking there was just one answer.
‘‘People base things on the literature and on one paper that’s not been
duplicated. I’m skeptical. There’s a lot of literature, but also fashions—
things used in the past. Now we’re into other treatment approaches. We
can’t cure anything.’’ Indeed, these ill physicians appeared previously to
have paid little heed to the implications of this pattern.
In general, over the course of their careers, doctors—even if healthy—
may increasingly come to be wary of scientific data, and to rely more on
their own ever-growing clinical experience. With passing years, a few of
the physicians here had become more cautious or even nihilistic about
medical knowledge. John, the public health official, became more skep-
tical about much of what the profession had to offer, appreciating the
limitations.
As doctors get older, they recognize the shortcomings of their
profession more. I don’t have rosy glasses on anymore. Medicine
gives you a lot of power, for good or bad.
Yet diagnosis with a serious illness deepened and accelerated this process
of reassessment, compelling these doctors to challenge their assumptions
even more.
Given this wariness, doctors then had to decide how much to seek
research and statistics related to their disease. One approach for handling
the intense anxiety of having a serious disease was ‘‘trying not to think
about it.’’ However, most sought rather to gather as much scientific data
as possible about their diagnoses. Only a few did not look up articles on
their disorder. Jacob reported, ‘‘I don’t avoid it, but I don’t get into it. I’m
at a very good psychological state, so why mess it up?’’ He exercised
conscious avoidance. His wife also actively pursued information for him.
But most physicians eagerly pursued additional statistics and infor-
mation. Many immediately checked the literature and researched their
illness extensively through Medline searches. Jim, the drug company
researcher, for example, had regularly investigated other medical topics
as part of his job. He currently did the same for his own disease.
I’ve got files of articles on leukemia and bone marrow transplants
now, the way I do about clinical trial designs. I search and keep on
top of things. You can’t avoid that.