“For the same reason that I do,” she said. She didn’t elaborate any further, and I knew
right then that she was holding something back, something that she couldn’t tell me,
something that made her sad as well. But it wasn’t until later that I learned her secret.
Being in love with a girl like Jamie Sullivan was without a doubt the strangest thing
I’d ever been through. Not only was she a girl that I’d never thought about before this year
—even though we’d grown up together—but there was something different in the whole
way my feelings for her had unfolded. This wasn’t like being with Angela, whom I’d
kissed the first time I was ever alone with her. I still hadn’t kissed Jamie. I hadn’t even
hugged her or taken her to Cecil’s Diner or even to a movie. I hadn’t done any of the
things that I normally did with girls, yet somehow I’d fallen in love.
The problem was, I still didn’t know how she felt about me.
Oh sure, there were some indications, and I hadn’t missed them. The Bible was, of
course, the biggie, but there was also the way she’d looked at me when she’d closed the
door on Christmas Eve, and she’d let me hold her hand on the ride home from the
orphanage. To my way of thinking there was definitely something there—I just wasn’t
exactly sure of how to take the next step.
When I’d finally taken her home after Christmas dinner, I’d asked if it would be okay
if I came by from time to time, and she’d said it would be fine. That’s exactly how she’d
said it, too—“That would be fine.” I didn’t take the lack of enthusiasm personally—Jamie
had a tendency to talk like an adult, and I think that’s why she got along with older people
so well.
The following day I walked to her house, and the first thing I noticed was that
Hegbert’s car wasn’t in the driveway. When she answered the door, I knew enough not to
ask her if I could come in.
“Hello, Landon,” she said as she always did, as if it were a surprise to see me. Again
her hair was down, and I took this as a positi