“And the only reason I’m doing this is because of your father, who doesn’t even like
me. This whole thing is dumb, and I wish I had never agreed to do it.”
“You’re just saying this because you’re nervous about the play—”
I cut her off with a shake of my head. Once I got on a roll, it was sometimes hard for
me to stop. I could take her optimism and cheerfulness only so long, and today wasn’t the
day to push me too far.
“Don’t you get it?” I said, exasperated. “I’m not nervous about the play, I just don’t
want to be here. I don’t want to walk you home, I don’t want my friends to keep talking
about me, and I don’t want to spend time with you. You keep acting like we’re friends, but
we’re not. We’re not anything. I just want the whole thing to be over so I can go back to
my normal life.”
She looked hurt by my outburst, and to be honest, I couldn’t blame her.
“I see,” was all she said. I waited for her to raise her voice at me, to defend herself, to
make her case again, but she didn’t. All she did was look toward the ground. I think part
of her wanted to cry, but she didn’t, and I finally stalked away, leaving her standing by
herself. A moment later, though, I heard her start moving, too. She was about five yards
behind me the rest of the way to her house, and she didn’t try to talk to me again until she
started up the walkway. I was already moving down the sidewalk when I heard her voice.
“Thank you for walking me home, Landon,” she called out.
I winced as soon as she said it. Even when I was mean to her face and said the most
spiteful things, she could find some reason to thank me. She was just that kind of girl, and
I think I actually hated her for it.
Or rather, I think, I hated myself.