table . That is the time everyone is supposed to be coming together and celebrating and enjoying this wonderful feast ,” Abernethy said . “ Talk before or after dinner , so you can focus on the reason you got together in the first place .”
How to Approach
Phipps said tackling divisive topics can be best done one-on-one with civil conversation .
“ As a sociologist , I am committed to social justice regarding issues like racism , gender inequality and homophobia . I think it ’ s necessary to speak out against these forms of oppression and inequality because if we remain silent nothing is likely to change ,” Phipps said . “ When talking with others , if we can make rational arguments in civil conversations , that can go a long way in getting someone to think about an issue and thinking is the first step in reforming ideas .”
“ It also really helps if you ’ re informed .
If you ’ re going to engage in conversations about topics that may be touchy , be knowledgeable about them and be able to distinguish about things that are facts , things that are fiction , and things that are opinions ,” Abernethy said . “ So many of these disagreements are from , at least what I see on social media , are really just disagreements on opinions and not disagreements on the underlying issue .”
Abernethy said to search for commonalities to help bridge divides .
“ We can all agree we want our police officers to be safe ,” he said . “… We can all agree that black people have been treated unfairly in this country . We can disagree on what needs to be done to rectify that situation .”
Phipps urged caution in cutting ties with those that disagree . He said he has seen people ‘ unfriend ’ people on social media over differing beliefs .
“ Social media posts can be problematic and they create alienation in society ,”
Phipps said . “ Posts cause people to unfriend those with different views , then we end up surrounded by only those who share our views and this makes it even more difficult to understand others ’ perspectives .”
Finding Solutions In finding solutions , experts say there is no easy answer .
“ The other thing to keep in mind , these are very complex issues . There is no simple overnight fix ,” Abernethy said . “ The person whose opinion you may disagree with , there may be elements of what they ’ re saying that may have to be part of the solution .”
In the end , both said it ’ s important to remember who these people are outside of that disagreement .
“ You ’ ve got to respect other people ’ s opinions . If they don ’ t agree with you , try to see what their perspective is and where they ’ re coming from ,” Abernethy said . “ All of us have different life experiences that shape how we view things .”
November / December 2020 45