I waited behind Lind’s teenage son. He had more than the professionally
advised ‘pea sized’ amount of hair gel on and the smell was unforgiving.
I was glad to step off.
The car park tarmac was a sponge underfoot. Bits of surrounding bark
had already heated enough to suffuse a scent of wildlife through the
air which I enjoyed, so I spent an extra 3 minutes stood inhaling it in,
attempting to get rid of the hair gel smell that lingered.
When I was thirteen and a half my RE teacher Miss Hugg taught us
about types of families and she once told me mine was ‘Nuclear’.
Turns out she didn’t mean we were going to explode on impact, but that
we are a basic social unit that co habitate under one roof in the form
of mum, dad and a dependent child or children. In which case, nuclear
families emerged from Ford Galaxy Minivans in shorts and Ray Bans
having an argument about the tartan picnic blanket Bobby or Hannah left
on the porch window-ledge.
I was a black rhino in a sea of hyenas, solitary but okay with it. Alone but
not lonely.
Undoubtedly, it was a chicken madras of a day. Madras, although not the
hottest of curry sauces, still contains a heavy amount of chilli powder. I
waited in the queue that built Lego-like from the ticket desk all the way to
the novelty Zebra disposal bins nailed to the entrance. With my birthday
money envelope £16.50 lighter, I pushed a three-pronged metal turnstile
that clicked and granted me entry. I escaped the spending sardine crowd
and went head first into my day.
First impressions were dull. I just thought ‘they’ve tried too hard with
all this.’ African markings and a few fake paw prints were dying to be a
bit safari. Three large map boards were accompanied by helpers in big
stupid green hats awaiting my questions. Which they never got.
Four minutes in, I could feel the start of my sode. Short for ‘episode’. Dad
calls them sodes, that way no one knows what we’re talking about. It’s
our language. Human figures, big and little melted around me, closing
me in. I’d forgot to bring a drink. Mum wouldn’t have forgot to bring a
drink. The summer air was thick and heavy like boat ropes. I couldn’t
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