Sharon’s hair was a bouquet of carnations two and a half weeks after
Mother’s Day. It had been dragged back into a purple velvet scrunchie, I
knew exactly what it was because mum uses one for work and she has
a special one for Christmas time too. The scrunchie was invented by a
nightclub singer called Rommy Revson, who was tired of damaging her
hair with metal ties.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sharon’s blurred phone screen.
She scrolled through the day’s weather reports. Each manicured finger
swipe seemed to get slower. The name Sharon derives from the Hebrew
term for ‘plain’. Suddenly, the front four rows of the number forty-two bus
morphed into your regular scientific forecasters, debating wind change
and temperature to the highest of their ability.
‘Says ‘ere that there’ll be highs of twenty-eight around midday,’ Sharon
started.
‘Ooo that’s Dubai behaviour that! Has anyone been to the UAE? I was
teaching there in 2010, put us up in this whole complex like, pool, man-
made beach. The whole nine yards. It’s ‘ot there mind, I’ll tell you that.’
This was Lind, a stout woman whose voice was white noise. She hadn’t
participated as of yet but I had thought to myself that, perhaps an extract
from her travel diary was just what the conversation needed. Sat on an
upper tiered bus seat, Lind had to work harder on her involvement.
Sharon was rude, ignorant towards Lind.
‘Back to rain tomorrow though kids. Let’s make the most of the sun! Get
that factor fifty out of the pram Lucas.’ Lucas was the oldest and seemingly
most laid-back child of Sharon’s delightful three. As he mumbled his
seven-year-old gibberish I could only make out one sentence.
‘I wanna be at Dad’s cos he lets me have fruit winders.’
‘Yeah? Well they’re bad for your teeth and he’s in Scunthorpe with that
horror Hayley!’ Sharon didn’t actually say ‘horror.’
No, she called Hayley another name but I once said C-R-A-P and Dad
took away my Jumanji Extended Cut DVD so I’m not risking it.
Then I saw it. The sign I’ve wanted to rattle past since I can remember: ‘ZOO’.
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