Sonder: Youth Mental Health Stories of Struggle & Strength | Page 106

ONE DAY I WILL BE HAPPY CONT.
the amount of calories I was planning to eat. I would eat alone
at lunch for fear that other people would see me eating and
think I was fat. I soon started to skip eating lunch entirely. I
would go home and run a couple of miles everyday before going
to soccer practice. I was obsessed with food and exercise and
weight. It was the only thing I could think about. My parents
noticed a change and sent me to an outpatient therapist and
dietician, but I tricked them into thinking I was fine with water
loading and wearing baggy clothes.
Eventually though, everybody knew I needed help, even me.
I admitted to my parents how much I was struggling and was
sent to an inpatient eating disorder treatment center for
anorexia. The treatment I received helped me take back my
life and establish myself as separate from my eating disorder.
It helped set me on the path to recovery and showed me a
way to happiness. I now know how to deal with my emotions
in a healthy and positive way. I have a set of close friends that
support me when my mental health is deteriorating. I have a
therapist who helps me process what happened with my brother
and deal with my feelings that sometimes feel unmanageable. I
am still on the path to full recovery, but I am confident that one
day I will be able to truthfully say that I am happy. ●
104  Suicide