are . They just don ’ t get it .
5 . Your Life Has Become All About You
When you keep compromising , eventually you craft a life that is almost entirely self-centered . And that ’ s the opposite of who you know you should be . Any value system worth having is focused on others , not self . The problem , of course , is that people take time , attention , and love . And you don ’ t have time or energy for that . Not anymore .
If it ’ s all about you , you ’ ve done more than rent your soul . Perhaps you ’ ve moved into a long-term lease .
Nobody Will Ever Pay You to Fix This
When you think about how behavioral dynamics work , it ’ s no surprise that compromise is so easy .
First , as Paul so brilliantly chronicled in the book of Romans , compromise is a staple of the human condition . We have a natural inclination toward it . Second , pretty much nobody is ever going to ask you to develop your character . Maybe your spouse will , but that ’ s about it . Will other people address it ? Maybe , but not from the perspective of encouragement .
Instead , they ’ ll just penalize you if you don ’ t . They ’ ll fire you , drop you as a friend , or divorce you . Rarely will anyone encourage you to work on your character proactively .
Contrast that with your competency . People will push you to develop your competency . Your parents likely pushed you to get an education . Competency is so highly valued in our culture that people will often pay you to improve your skill set . Your employer will cover the costs for you to go to a conference or take the training courses you need , or perhaps even fund the tuition for your next degree .
Plus , competency is fun . Who doesn ’ t want to learn a new skill or develop a talent ? Devouring a book , listening to a podcast , or taking an online class can be really stimulating . You tend to see tangible results . That skill you picked up is something you can implement this month . That hack you learned has an immediate payoff .
But who ’ s pushing you to be a better you ? Who ’ s speaking into your life to point out those deep-seated character issues that need to be worked on ? Right , cue the silence .
Often , there are only a few people . Worse , maybe there ’ s nobody .
30 • Solutions