doesn’ t truly reflect your interior life. Watch for any gap you see between your words and your deeds. When you talk grace, but you snap at your spouse, kids, and staff, that’ s a gap. When you talk financial responsibility with your colleagues, but your personal finances are a mess, that’ s a gap. When you say people matter, but you make zero time for anyone in need, that’ s a gap.
You hate this kind of gap when you see it in others. You call it hypocrisy, and that’ s exactly what it is. The English word hypocrisy stems from the Greek word for“ actor.” A hypocrite was an actor who donned a mask to portray a character. That’ s what hypocrites do: they pretend to be someone they’ re not.
While it’ s easy to spot hypocrisy in others, it’ s much harder to see it in ourselves. That’ s because we judge ourselves by our intentions and other people by their actions. It’ s completely unfair but exceptionally common. You know what you intended to do or how you wish you had responded. So you cut yourself some slack. Then you put a thin veneer over the action that masks it and makes it look a little more like the intention. And that’ s the beginning of the disconnect between who you are and who you want to be.
2. You’ re Hiding Things
As the gap grows between your real self and the projection of your false self, you won’ t want anyone to discover the truth about you. Compromise eventually leads to cover-up.
Because you realize( even on the subconscious level) that you’ re not who you should be, you’ re ashamed to
“ While it’ s easy to spo it’ s much harder to That’ s because we ju intentions and other pe
admit what you’ re doing. You tell the accountant to make some changes in case you get audited. You delete your browser history. You change the password on your phone and tell your spouse that work required it. You fabricate stories to conceal the facts.
Cover-up is almost daily fodder for newspapers because it’ s so common in business and politics. It’ s typical in those fields because it’ s so common everywhere. We all start misleading and misinforming others whenever
28 • Solutions