complete embarrassment, y’ all.
working for customs at the airport had singled out and checked my luggage because it looked suspicious. I mean. What’ s suspicious about two giant Halloween-sized bags of candy, peanut butter crackers, fruit snacks, and enough beef jerky to last at least three grown men a month? To my surprise, nothing. Now, for a frame of reference, I was about three hundred and twenty pounds. Naturally my clothes were a bit larger and took up more space in my suitcase. I was interrogated by Zambian custom officials who suspected I was bringing an ungodly amount of clothes to sell. I had to pull out pieces of clothing one by one and show them that there wasn’ t more than two weeks’ worth. It was only an optical illusion because of the sheer size and volume of fabric needed to accommodate my larger frame. Cue
By the time I had straightened out my things, I began to wonder if I had made a mistake by coming on this trip. I decided to sleep off the feelings of inadequacy and try again the next day. This would be the perfect day, because we were going to meet the people we had been preparing to meet the whole year. We drove a short five minutes to arrive at an orphanage where I could hear the singing and clapping of the children from outside its entrance gate. My heart started to well up with even more joy. I locked eyes with several children rushing to greet us. I was one of the last ones to step off the bus, and when I did, every young child I offered my hand to would seem terrified and run away. What in the world was happening?! Now I was repelling the people I came to meet and love on?
One Zambian gravitated toward me, however. She was a robust and loud woman. Larger in stature, like myself. The children called her Momma Vivian. She came over and hugged everyone on our team. And when she came to me, she hugged me, pulled away with her hands still wrapped around my arm, and said these words:“ Oooooohhhh, you are fat. Very, very fat.” Now, Momma Vivian said this in a tone that I knew to be pure joy and complimentary. She even squeezed the fattest part on the back of my arms and made her way up to another squeeze of the
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