And have you felt this sense of disorder
and brokenness creating insecurity in
you? Have you ever allowed your own
practice of comparison to do this to
others?
The Causes of Comparison
Where does this need to compare
ourselves with others come from?
Where does this congenital affliction of
the soul find its roots? Looking closely
at ourselves, at our hidden thoughts,
deepest affections, and usual behaviors,
we can identify several underlying
causes of comparison.
Identity
One cause is our misplaced sense of
identity. All of us have been confused
at one point or another about where we
derive our identity from. We receive part
of it from our parents, part of it from
our peers as we grow and interact, part
of it from friendships and romantic
relationships, and part of it from our
workplaces. Small parts of us have
been deeply shaped by the experiences
and encounters we have had in life.
But our culture makes it hard to rightly
order our identity so that we know, at
a foundational level, who we truly are.
This lack of a solid center results in
our putting identities on and taking
them off depending on whom we are
around. We feel the need to continually
reinvent ourselves to keep up. We
want to appear successful in the ways
our culture demands, and it can be
exhausting. Pretending to be doing well;
posting only images of fun, glamor, and
excitement on social media; and telling
only the parts of our story that preserve
our glowing image are a kind of modern
armor, protecting our fragile hearts. We
are terrified to be seen for who we are,
where we are, and what we are actually
struggling with.
Fear of Missing Out
Another cause of comparison is our
fear of missing out. Because we live in
have been given a new
“ We
identity and a new call