Redeeming
Your Worst You
By Marlo Schalesky
My fists clenched, my
face scrunched and
turned hot. Then noise
like the screech of an
old radio burst from my
mouth: “You will eat those
beans! You will eat them
right now!” I uncurled one
tight fist and slammed my
palm down on the dining
room table. My kids’ eyes
grew wide. The baby
started to wail.
I started to shake. Who
was this crazed woman
screaming at her children?
And about beans of all
things?! The Marlo I knew
was calm and reasonable.
She had no resemblance
to the shrieking maniac
who’d temporarily invaded
my body and my home.
Most moms I know
have experienced
what it’s like to become
the yelling-mom they
promised themselves
they’d never be. All of
us know what it’s like for
stress, pain, and fear to
push us into becoming
our worst selves. It’s
horrible, sickening. And
we feel helpless to restrain
the monster, helpless to
repair the relationships
damaged in the wake of
the beast.
Where is God when
you become so much less
than he’s created you
to be? Where is he when
you fail, when you blow
up your life, when you
treat others as they should
never be treated? Where
is God when you become
an unholy mess?
I’ve found hope for
my failures in the life of
Sarah, Abraham’s wife.
Sarah knew what it was
like to become who she
never wanted to be.
The one who would be
commended for her
faith in Hebrews 11 was
not always faithful. In
Genesis 16:6, she was an
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