Solutions April 2019 | Page 7

All truth. Yes, for sure truth. All difficult to hear when we are in the hole of grief. It takes courage to sit beside someone with their pain; it takes even more courage to not have the simple answers and quick fixes for them. What about allowing them to also sit beside us? This all requires courage, which means it requires vulnerability. It feels uncomfortable and we don’t like it, which means we are doing it right. So instead of leaning into the discomfort with our courage and His truths in Hand, we try to fix their pain or hide ours which only leaves us all feeling even more alone. And, healing will never take place in disconnection. H e a l i n g c a n o n l y t a ke p l a c e i n connection. Remember, it is both, sitting beside someone with their pain and allowing them to sit beside us with ours, the latter can definitely feel harder. Especially as leaders. We put on this armor as if we don’t have permission to struggle when in reality it is that very same struggle, and humanness, that helps people feel connected to us. Don’t for one second think this is misery loves company either. This is connection. This is vulnerability. This is relationship. This is healing. And, I can’t think of a space where His Spirit is more powerful, lives more, or heals more. Jesus sat at the well with the woman and saw all of her - her struggles, doubts, fears, and mistakes. He sat beside her and loved her well. He created a safe space with His love for her to own her truth and to speak the unspoken. Before I left my private practice after 20 years in traditional mental health to write, teach, and do more ministry I found my practice changing those last five years. After surviving, and eventually doing the work to thrive a failed infertility journey I published my first book, Ever Upward. It was a memoir and spoke my truth, and many clients read it. Of course, vulnerability must have Solutions • 7