are always 10 million things to do and
time for only 12 or 13 of those things.
If it’s not your boss asking you to work
late, it’s your kids needing a ride to an
activity or the bank calling about a late
loan payment. It’s always something.
If you’ve lived in such high stress for a
while, you’ve learned to power along at
a rapid pace. You’re so used to it, you
no longer notice how stressed you are.
But that cumulative pressure will catch
up with you sooner or later, so don’t
wait for that to happen. To ease your
stress level now, try these tips from
other single parents in the trenches:
1. Always cover the basics—rest, food,
and exercise. Get seven to eight hours
of sleep a night, and don’t skip meals.
Avoid snack foods and fad diets. Use
playtime with your kids to be active, or
find a friend to walk with at a regular
time when your kids are otherwise
occupied.
2. Tackle your schedule and set your
priorities. You can’t do every¬thing,
so why are you trying? Don’t be a
“joiner.” Learn to say no when people
ask you to do time-consuming things.
If you’re a people pleaser, you’ll find
this extremely difficult. But thinking
of the alternative—exhaustion—should
help you in your resolve. No parent
can do it all, not even in a two-parent
family. Don’t let guilt drive you further
from your kids by involving yourself in
unnecessary activities. You only have
so much time, and your children need
you more than that extra work meeting,
68 • Solutions
the PTA, or the neighborhood garage
sale does.
3. Be aware of your high-stress times,
and schedule time for yourself. (You
really do deserve it.) A certain time
of day might be the hardest for you—
such as 5:30 to 6:30—because you’re
transitioning between work and home.
Maybe stopping for coffee by yourself,
drinking it slowly, and taking a walk
for a couple of blocks before you head
home would be the best medicine for
you and your kids. Then if your kids are
bouncing off the walls when you get
home, you won’t go through the roof.
If a particular task—such as paying
the bills online or sorting out boxes of
photos from when you and your ex were
together—is difficult for you, indulge in
a treat or a mental mini vacation at
the end of it. If something your kids do
routinely makes you tense, talk with
them about it and ask for their help.
One mom declared that the first half
hour after she got home would be
“quiet time” for everyone in the house.
She was not to be disturbed, and all
the kids had to choose quiet activities.
After that, she tended cheerfully to
their needs, listened to them talk about
their days and what they might need
for tomorrow, and made dinner. But
first she needed those 30 minutes of
downtime. Her kids learned that their
lives were much sweeter when Mom
had that time off.