guess so.”
Kenton shook his head in disbelief. For
years they had counseled Renee to keep
herself pure for marriage. Now Teri was
waffling.
“Teri, our daughter is only a freshman.
This guy might end up just being the first
in a long line of college boyfriends. Are
you going to be okay with her sleeping
with each of them? What if she gets
pregnant!”
Teri cringed at his words, but she
couldn’t bear this conflict. “I can’t lose
her, Kenton!” Without waiting for his
response, she ran upstairs to console
their daughter.
Which Parent is Showing True Love?
Let’s take a closer look at the meaning
of “true love.”
True love is other-focused. It looks
out for the best interests of others.
So a parent who truly loves his child is
prepared to say, “No!” to keep her from
harm. That harm could be anything—
from eating too many sweets, to not
doing homework, to opening herself to
being used by others.
True love is other-
focused. It looks
out for the best
interests of others.
56 • Solutions
When dating, a guy who respects his
girlfriend’s desire to wait for marriage
demonstrates true love by helping her
to stay pure. A guy focused on self-
love, in comparison, is like the single
guy who told me that he “only dates
girls who put out.” He’s obviously
focused on getting his needs met,
which makes his “love” untrue, or
conditional.
Teri and Kenton are not unlike a lot of
parents whose children no longer share
their values regarding premarital sex.
For Renee, sleeping with her boyfriend
is okay because they think they’re in
love. For Kenton, premarital sex is
wrong because the Bible teaches it is
wrong. Period.
While Teri knows Kenton is right, her
primary concern is that her daughter
might pull away and strain their
relationship.Teri has bought into the
idea of “culture tolerance.”
Though she is a believer, Teri has
been influenced by society to also
believe that to be a good parent,
she needs to validate her daughter’s
lifestyle choices. So Teri is willing to
compromise, to keep their relationship
intact. Perhaps Teri is banking on
God’s unceasing grace. She knows
that God will never stop loving Renee,
despite her sin.
For his part, Kenton is angry. As the
spiritual leader of his household,