we’re connected to His life (see Genesis
1:26-27). Scripture also says we are
made “only a little lower than God and
crowned... with glory and honor” (Psalm
8:5, NLT). And Jesus reminds us many
times that we are loved, enough that He
would die for us (see John 3:16). Here’s
what we need to know about ourselves
as parents following after God’s heart:
We are very special, deeply fallen, and
greatly loved. That is what it means to be
human in God’s eyes.
“
We are very special,
deeply fallen, and
greatly loved. That is
what it means to be
human in God’s eyes.”
Even with those affirming six words
about our humanity in our minds, though,
we still might feel that we need to be in
control of our parenting to please God.
Whether or not that’s a realistic goal we
could ever reach, the real issue is not
if we’re in control but rather what’s in
control of us. We humans are complex
creatures, shaped internally by drives,
fears, pride, ideals, hopes, and other
unseen but influential forces. We won’t
fully understand our parenting until
we can get a grip on how those forces
control who we are and how we think
and act. Even though they are not likely
to be completely “in control” of you, let
me suggest just a few representative
negative influences that could affect
your parenting.
38 • Solutions
When the sinful self, often called the
flesh, is in control, we’re not thinking
about God or doing His will. Even though
we are new creatures in Christ, we are still
tempted by our sinful nature. And if we let
emotions control us, strong feelings can
affect how we interact with our immature
children. Emotion-filled reactions such as
anger, judgment, or criticism can replace
thoughtful and reasoned actions. Also,
we can let fear—of what others think, of
doing the wrong thing, of angering God—
control us. Fear can prevent us from
trusting God and relating in a healthy way
with our children. Finally, there is formula
and habit—uncritically following patterns
we’ve been told are the best methods of
parenting or just parenting thoughtlessly
by habits and routines.
Those negative human forces, and many
more, can influence our parenting, but
only if we let them. The good news is
that we have a choice; we can learn to
let God be in control of our parenting.
We can let Him become the controlling
influence in our lives so our children will
see the new person we are becoming in
Christ, not the old person we were before.
That happens through three positive
influences by which God comes into our
humanity—faith, freedom, and love. Much
of parenting is simply learning to “walk by
faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7)—
trusting in God for His wisdom, insight,
and discernment to become the Christlike
parents our children need. Faith, then,
gives us the freedom to follow the Holy
Spirit’s ministry in our hearts and not
be enslaved to man’s laws and rules.
“It was for freedom that Christ set us