Solutions April 2018 | Page 27

trust us, it’s going to be alright. Here are five simple principles, based on what we’ve shared from our experience, to keep your family on track. CREATE A FAMILY IDENTITY Take time to think through the things you want your kids to know about being a member of your family. Not a simple list of dos and don’ts, but a description of the mission, vision and values that make you the unique family God created. I (Geoff) learned this from my mom who taught us as kids that “there are things we do and don’t do because we are Surratts” (I often wished I could change my name to Smith) If your kids are old enough include them in the process of creating your family identity, and refer back to this definition regularly. A strong family identity prevents others from deciding what your family should be. FIERCELY DEFEND YOUR FAMILY The church doesn’t get to decide what your family is and isn’t, you do. In ministry, there will always be others who will tell you what you should be doing or saying and even what your kids should look and act like. But the ball is in your court, don’t serve it up to anyone else. You decide what your family’s boundaries are, and what’s best for your kids. Give your kids the freedom to discover who God designed them to be and what their relationship with the church and God will look like. You are the only champion your family has. Many people in and out of the church have a picture of who your family should be and how your kids should act; it is your responsibility to stick to the unique picture you’re creating. God specifically chose you to raise your kids, only you can decide how they should be raised. “ The church doesn’t get to decide what your family is and isn’t; you do.” MAKE MINISTRY A WIN As I (Geoff) look back on growing up in a pastor’s home, the best thing my parents did was encourage us to serve in ministry. I hated Sunday School and I got kicked out of Children’s Church, but I loved volunteering in the puppet ministry. I think my experience volunteering as a teenager is the biggest reason I am still involved in ministry today, and I’ve seen my children have the same experience. As a leader in the church you have the opportunity to help you kids find a place they love to serve. LEAN INTO OTHERS Help your kids connect with adults who will love them warts and all. They need a safe place where they aren’t Solutions • 27