Jottings
News from the UK and around the World
. . . the wild, the wacky, the wonderful, the weird and the downright infuriating
The great British menu
Branston Pickle is “a classic snack for
drunk people”, while HP sauce is “a
sickly-sweet, unsophisticated” barbecue-
sauce affair consumed in “hectolitres”
with English breakfasts. Marmite is
simply “filth.”
The views are those of Ignacio Peyró, a
Spanish journalist, author and director
of the Instituto Cervantes in London,
writing in the April issue of the Spanish-
language version of Esquire magazine.
He’s also a gourmand, aka “foodie.”
His review of typically British
condiments continues with the “most
patriotic” of all, English mustard, which
is dismissed as something which,
“scorches the unsuspecting palate as
thoroughly as the most spiteful chilli.”
And that applies to horseradish sauce as
well, according to Sr Peyró.
At least, however, he acknowledges that
Marmite isn’t really a sauce, before
classifying it as a “filth” which, he
continues, is included in “the archive of
unspeakable British things.” Mint sauce,
he believes, is used by Brits to disguise
the age of the roast lamb alongside
which it is served. He justifies this by
explaining that in Spain, people tend
more towards, “infanticide when it
comes to matters ovine.” However to Sr
Peyrós credit, he does add later, “You
just can’t argue with roast beef.”
He also concedes that Piccalilli (“mustard
with other stuff”) should be tried with a
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good, sweet ham, that bread sauce is a
“necessary and splendid accompaniment
to a good Scottish partridge,” and that
when faced with a Welsh rarebit “we do
what every good Brit does: flood it with
Lea and Perrins sauce - although, he
adds, “nobody knows” what
Worcestershire sauce is actually for.
Our World
The mascot of your Jottings team, Rosie,
has been confused about the change in
her routine since we were all confined to
barracks in March. Consultations with
her canine chums reveals that many of
our animal friends have indicated to
their pet humans that things are not as
they were. Mother Nature seems to be
taking advantage of the absence of
humans, and many unusual visitors have