underway and when the girl screamed
for help, head instructor, Randall
Ephraim stepped in. Within minutes, the
failed kidnapper was led from the
building ... on a stretcher. Police, who
said Williams did not know the girl,
added he had also tried to fight them
when being detained. He was later
released from hospital and was
transferred straight to jail.
Local News
Residents in a Somerset village have
taken an unusual step to highlight the
use of their narrow lane as a “rat run.” A
road sign which once pointed to Yeovil
and the village of Tintinhull, now simply
gives directions to “Nowhere” and
“Somewhere.” The locals say it’s an
effort to deter motorists from using
their lane to by-pass 27 sets of traffic
lights and a “ridiculous” roundabout
where there were no accidents for 20
years ... that is, before the lights were
introduced.
We have reported on Kingdom Services
Group previously in this column. In
2017, for example, their wardens who
were contracted to work for Wirrall
Council fined a man £80 for discarding
“several cherry stones and a whole
cherry,” and it appears their dubious
tactics for imposing sanctions are
continuing.
Former employees have been telling
journalists at The Guardian that they
were instructed to hide in bushes and
behind cars so they could catch people
dropping litter. They also alleged that
workers prey on elderly and vulnerable
people in less affluent areas because they
are more likely to pay the fines. It’s
reported that, in at least one area,
Kingdom used a league table to
encourage competition between
employees issuing fines. And the more
fines a warden clocks up, the bigger the
bonus paid – oops, sorry – the bigger
the “competency allowance” in Kingdom
parlance.
There’s no doubt the total fines for
“crimes” such dropping litter and dog-
fouling add up quickly, and Kingdom
takes a cut. The company’s turnover in
2017-18 is reported to be £103 million.
It generated £4.1 million while in
Liverpool for just eight months, but
Liverpool’s city council, along with at
least six others, no longer uses its
services after it found that two-thirds of
the fines were issued for dropping
cigarette ends.
PC Corner
This column has reported on previous
occasions about the advice being handed
out in some sectors to halt the use of
certain phrases with the object of
avoiding offence This time, the target is
midwives who have been instructed to
replace 16 common phrases, a list of
which was recently published in the
British Medical Journal.
Instead of encouraging mums during a
delivery with comments such as, “Good
girl,” midwives should say, “You’re doing
really well,” while “big baby” must be
replaced by “healthy baby.” This is, they
point out, to ensure that women are
“empowered to make decisions.”
“Labour Ward” should be replaced by
“Birthing Suite,” and “terminate
pregnancy” with “compassionate
induction.” In addition, patients should
not be referred to as “she,” but by their
names at all times. The authors say their
suggestions are “well founded,” but
admit that some “eyes may roll” at the
thought of “political correctness gone
mad.” Quite.
Just plain odd
A man who spent three hours licking a
doorbell with his tongue as a family
slept inside their home in early January
has been charged with prowling and
theft. Roberto Daniel Arroyo, 33, was
caught on CCTV at the house in Salinas,
California, as he leaned his head against
the intercom outside their front door
and licked the doorbell, from several
different angles, for three hours.
A man in England called 999 on New
Year’s Day to demand a DNA test after
his partner had been caught cheating.
He was firmly told to get lost by the
operator. The North West Ambulance
Service published the bizarre
conversation on Twitter with the
comment, “Really, though?”
Animal corner
Scientists have called for street lights to
be switched off after midnight to help
moths pollinate flowers. A study, led by
experts from Newcastle and York
universities, has shown that turning off
the lights even for just part of the night
can help to restore the natural behaviour
of moths.
Eels in the Thames are becoming
hyperactive because of the high levels of
cocaine in the city’s waste water. New
research by a team at King’s College
London found that people are using the
class A drug consistently throughout the
week, not just on weekends. “London is
known as one of the highest consumers
of cocaine,” they said.
A magpie called Lucky who was nursed
back to health by a father and daughter
has repaid its rescuers by reportedly
28
attacking children after returning to the
wild. After being reared, Lucky became
very friendly towards humans and
ended up as a celebrity in her home
town of Penzance. A petition entitled
“Stop Lucky the Magpie” has now been
sent to Cornwall Council calling for the
bird to be re-homed in a sanctuary.
Good News
Piers Morgan said he would take a year
off British TV screens if Ant and Dec
won at the UK’s National Television
Awards on January 22. The good news is
that they won ...
Quotes
“The US and the UK are two nations
divided by a common language,” a view
attributed variously to Wilde, Shaw and
Churchill. In January, the British
market research group YouGov
published a list of common phrases in
which, they say, “Americans would miss
the passive-aggressive British subtext.”
“I hear what you say.”
US: My point of view has been accepted.
UK: I disagree. No further discussion.
“That’s not bad.”
US: That’s good.
UK: That’s poor.
“That is a very brave proposal.”
US: My courage is respected.
UK: You are insane.
“Very interesting.”
US: My views are impressive.
UK: That’s clearly nonsense.
“I’ll bear it in mind.”
US: I’ve almost won the argument.
UK: I’ve forgotten it already.
“You must come for dinner.”
US: I’ll be invited soon.
UK: No invitation - just being polite,
“I only have a few minor comments.”
US: A few typos have been found.
UK: Re-write it completely.
“I almost agree.”
US: We’re almost in agreement.
UK: I strongly disagree.
“With the greatest respect ...”
US: My views are being listened to.
UK: I think you’re an idiot.
Grateful acknowledgement to the following
papers from which some of this material is
extracted: Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily
Express, Independent on Sunday, Mail on Sunday,
The Sun, The Sunday Times, The Times and The
Telegraph. Seen something funny, bizarre or just
plain weird? Contributions for Jottings are welcome
by email to: [email protected].