Jottings
News from the UK and around the World
. . . the wild, the wacky, the wonderful, the weird and the downright infuriating
Boys in Blue
One quiet Saturday evening in Derby
last month, residents were surprised
when a police armed response unit
rolled into the suburb of Allestree. As
fully kitted officers jumped out and
rushed into a property, there was
considerable concern. Clearly, a
dangerous and violent criminal was at
large, or was it a gang of thugs bent on
acquiring a pension book or two?
No, it was neither. It was a gerbil. Not a
criminal gerbil engaged in building an
escape tunnel from his cage, but an
ordinary pet gerbil whose name is being
kept confidential for security reasons.
Gerbil X is the property of a prisoner
who was concerned that, after a week on
his own while his adult was ... er ....
helping police with their enquiries, the
animal would be getting hungry.
However, he refused to give access to his
home to RSPCA officials, so they called
on the police for help. The boys in blue
rushed to property and quickly
established that Gerbil X was alive and
well, if a bit peckish. He was also quite
cosy because his owner had left the gas
fire on. A post on the Derby city centre
safer neighbourhood police page read,
“Sometimes we’re a bit soft and caring,”
adding that the incident had no impact
on operational policing. Gerbil X is now
in the care of the RSPCA until domestic
feeding practices can be resumed.
And police in Merseyside are offering a
26
star prize in their latest fund-raising
wheeze. Corporate sponsors are being
sought for police horses. Those
participating will have their company
logo displayed on the animal’s saddle, so
the horse will be easily spotted during
riots and other civil disobedience
opportunities. Even better, one lucky
MD will also win the star prize: lunch
with the Chief Constable at Aintree
Racecourse. Get those nose-bags ready ...
The owners of a Cuban restaurant in
Hyde on Tameside say they have been
subjected to “political censorship” by
local police. They claim that an officer
visited their premises last month and
asked them to take down an image of
Che Guevara which has been hanging in
a window for the last five years.