Jottings
from previous page
out that your Jottings team last month
attributed the short story ‘The
Canterville Ghost’ to George Bernard
Shaw whereas it was actually written by
Oscar Wilde. Heads have rolled.
However, it was definitely GBS who
wrote in his play ‘The Doctor’s
Dilemma’, “A life spent making mistakes
is not only more honourable, but more
useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
“No idea what Brexit is about.” -
Danielle Hugman, 25, from Suffolk
whose one-year-old daughter Willow-
Rose became one of the first to receive
one of the new, old-style blue British
passports on March 12 after supplies of
burgundy passports ran out.
“She really is beautiful innit?”
– 16-year-old Aker Okoye, head boy at a
Dagenham school addressing assembly
when he took to the stage with the
Duchess of Sussex last month. He got a
hug from Meghan as a reward, much to
the delight of his 700 classmates.
“The Democrats are politicising the
coronavirus.”
– US President Donald Trump speaking
on February 28.
Quotes
“Happy St Davids Day”
– Meghan and Harry outraging their
Instagram followers with a message
posted on March 1 which omitted the
obligatory apostrophe. “I like the sound of a couple of months
better.”
– Trump at a White House briefing
on March 4 contradicting the head
of the US National Institute of Allergy
and Infectious Diseases who said it
would take potentially 12 to 18 months
to produce an effective coronavirus
vaccine.
“11.30”
– according to comedian Miranda Hart,
what an applicant on a mortgage
application form wrote in response to
the question, “Time at present address?” “I’d say the number is way under 1%:” -
Donald Trump on March 4, this time
contradicting the World Health
Organisation’s estimate of the global
death rate of 3.4% amongst reported
28
coronavirus sufferers. He referred to
3.4% as a “false number.”
“If we have thousands or hundreds of
thousands of people that get better just
by, you know, sitting around and even
going to work — some of them go to
work, but they get better.”
– Trump yet again on March 4.
“I NEVER said people that are feeling
sick should go to work.”
– Trump Tweeting on March 5.
“It’s a very contagious virus ... but
it’s something we have tremendous
control of.”
– Trump speaking on March 15 as
schools, bars, restaurants and gyms
across the US were being closed.
“He’s an idiot.”
– Elaine Kamarck, senior fellow at the
Brookings Institution think tank in
Washington on Donald Trump’s
handling of the coronavirus crisis.
Grateful acknowledgement to the following
papers from which some of this material is
extracted: Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily
Express, Independent on Sunday, Mail on Sunday,
The Sun, The Sunday Times, The Times and The
Telegraph. Seen something funny, bizarre or just
plain weird? Contributions for Jottings are welcome
by email to: [email protected].