How to stand up and have the wedding you want
You love your mom but this is YOUR big day! Do you face the age old issue of the MOMZILLA? You know she means well but you're feeling a little suffocated? Well this article will explain why it's so hard to stand up to her and why it seems like nobody is on your side, as well as a few tips and tricks on how to compromise.
The Bystander Effect
In 1951, Solomon Asch conducted an experiment that is now a classic in social psychology to measure the social pressures of a group on a person to conform. He asked a simple judgement question with one clear answer and made everyone in the group state the wrong answer to test the subject. 75% of participants conformed and gave the incorrect answer. After analyzing why the subjects conformed and what caused them to doubt themselves, Asch concluded that there are 6 factors that affect conformity with one of them being the status of members of the group. This is where MOMZILLA comes in and why everybody goes along with her without a fuss. Solomon Asch clearly proves that the reason you may feel alone in this battle against your mom is becasue everyone around you including yourself conforms to Momzilla's pressures as a person of high status in your family. So there you have it, the problem is that due to her high status and role in the family, everyone allows your mom to become MOMZILLA by conforming and agreeing with her every decision regarding YOUR wedding.
How to Compromise Wthout Offending
~tell her when she's overstepped. It's a difficult conversation to have, but Marilynn Nereo, PhD in clinical psychology, LMFT, and LPC says the earlier you discuss it the better
~assign her a not so important task to be in charge of (bridesmaids luncheon, attendee loot bags) so that she feels involved
Saying no to momzilla?
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