Smithereens Press Chapbooks 'Zero at the Bone' by David Wheatley | Page 58

MCDONALD
You’d be surprised what’s in these waters.
A North Sea mermaid might get snagged in your net.
Or even... you’ve read Moby-Dick? [Sarcastic.] I mean,
you strike me as an educated man.
NEMO
[Provoked.] Call me a schlemiel?
MCDONALD
Not that it matters,
but the only real whale in Moby-Dick
washed up just along the coast from here.
NEMO
Whose dick? Poofter, eh? I’m not your whore.
You Englishmen!
MCDONALD
Anything washed ashore
was property of Lord Muck of Holderness.
He had god-given rights, droits de seigneur.
But you’d know about that. [Circling Nemo.] About exercising
your rights. When the booty’s there for the seizing.
A mermaid caught in your net.
NEMO
A what in my what?
MCALLISTER
[Entering.] Captain Ahab, your whale is right behind you.

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