20
YOUR PATH TO SUCCESS
WINTER 2 0 1 8 / 2 0 1 9
You Don't Need
Motivation
To Start On
Your Path To
Success
I NEVER learned to swim as a kid.
Ear infections dotted my childhood, so
I was outfitted with never-ending sets of
tubes. Swimming lessons became
skating lessons when I got fancy rubber
molded earplugs and a plastic cap for
showering.
I was afraid of swimming and became
good at avoiding it. Why didn’t I swim?
First, I didn’t think I could swim.
Second, I didn’t want to swim.
Strapping on a bathing suit meant
showing off my spaghetti arms and man
boobs. It meant getting cold and wet
and chlorine-y and showering and
changing afterward. Why? Exercise
could be done in other ways. As I got
older, I told myself the best
conversations at the pool party were at
the barbecue. And I didn’t live near an
ocean. So I convinced myself
swimming was a waste of time.
What are the two barriers we place in
front of our least desirable tasks?
Capability and motivation. In other
words, can’t do it and don’t want to,
anyway! It looks like this:
Can Do → Want To Do → Do.
Everything changed in a flash when I
fell in love with Leslie over a few
months. We’re married today, but it was
only a few dates in when she started
telling me one night how much she
loved to swim. “It’s my favorite thing to
do in the world,” she said. “The water
just feels like home.”
“Not me,” I said, disappointed. “I don’t
swim. Not a big fan.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” she said. “You see,
my family has had a cottage, for
generations, on an island. Every
morning the 20 of us — my 80-year-old
grandparents, my 10-year-old cousins
— jump in the lake and swim around
the island.”
She gave an Obama-like pregnant pause
and then said:
“I guess you can’t come.”
That night, for the first time in more 30
years, I signed up for swimming
lessons.
Suddenly, without thinking whether I
could do it or whether I wanted to do it,
I just did it.
I signed up for an adult learn-to-swim
program, offered by the city of Toronto,
at the Trinity Bellwoods pool. A few
weeks later, I was walking onto the
pool deck with my heart thumping. I
felt like running away. But I ended up
learning one of the most valuable
lessons of my life instead.
What happened?
Well, within two minutes, I realized I
fit in. Who was with me? People with
traumatic experiences. People from