Sin Fronteras Spring 2017 Sin Fronteras Spring 2017 | Page 88

You will fall into your knees
only to feel the cold and hard ground and not his hand
holding you tight, keeping you from falling apart.
The moment you look up and see the table he used to reserve
each time you guys went to that restaurant, you will lose your appetite.
Maybe for the rest of the night
What comes next?
Pictures will stop transmitting to you any sort of emotion,
Music will become a bunch of beats without rhythm,
Books and movies will embitter you.
Time will permanently freeze,
Food will lose its taste.
Everyone’s company will make you feel even more lonely.
Life
has already lost its meaning.
Nothing is worth possessing if you
don’t have a loved one to share those things with.
New experiences stop being exciting when t here is
no one special who to live them with.
What comes next?
I have lost all hope in love.
There is no such thing as that
left inside me.
I prefer loving a pet who will later die because I can be sure
they will be gone forever. That way I won’t be looking through
my window hoping to see them come back home later.
At least that is better than checking my cell phone every five minutes,
waiting for a message from him.
It is better than to lay down and hold my own hand
to remember once more, what it was like to have him.
I would have much rathered died lying next
to my wrinkled, a bit sick but still perfect lover,
Than to end my life because he left me for another.
My dear charles, you were mistaken.
That was the last thing I would have liked to get killed by.
A lover.
Sincerely,
The one who loved you.
Love.
You were right, Charles.
It clinged onto my back and weigh me down
into eventual nothingness.
It drained me completely,
it consumed me very fast and then slowly killed me.
But I would have rathered enjoyed my cigarettes and smoke to death,
than to come home just to be tortured by my loneliness.
I would have rathered get obsessed with a T.V show
to the point to which the death of my favorite character made me upset,
than to deal with my reality and cry my eyes out
everyday
because he, who meant everything to me,
promised to never come back.
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